A Mother's Promise by K.D. Alden

Author:K.D. Alden [K.D. Alden]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2021-03-19T00:00:00+00:00

Sheila had always taken liberties with the verses; made up her own to suit herself.

An ache began just below Ruth Ann’s diaphragm, slowly filling her with longing.

And if that silly bird fly away,

Mama’s gonna call it a brand-new day.

Down to the market you’ll go in a pram,

And Mama’s gonna get you a can o’ Spam…

Under Ruth Ann’s fascinated, horrified, stunned gaze, Bonnie laughed.

And then Sheila did, too.

And Bonnie ran to her, pigtails flying.

Ran right into the mother-monster’s arms, as if she belonged there. As if she’d been waiting years for this very moment. As if she loved her.

Sheila wrapped her evil, skinny arms around Bonnie and squeezed her tightly. “Oh, my darlin’. Oh, how I have dreamed of this moment! I was so afraid I’d never see you again.” Her voice shook.

Then Ruth Ann herself began to tremble. It started in that same place the ache had, at her diaphragm, and then eddied out along her spine. It dropped down to her knees, then shot up to her lungs, where it emerged in shallow, short breaths and then gasps. What was wrong with her?

She stood rooted to the floor, wavering like a dandelion in a strong wind.

Why was she a weed, while Bonnie was a flower?

Why had Sheila never once, in her recent memory, hugged her—Ruth Ann—the way she was hugging her sister? As if she were precious, as if she couldn’t get enough of her. As if she were the only person who mattered to Sheila in the whole, wide world.

The ache in Ruth Ann bled into a bitter rending and twisting of every organ in her body. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move her feet, couldn’t think.

She simply hurt.

She felt one with pain. One with loneliness. One with rejection.

She stood there, dry-eyed and speechless and numb, until Ruby’s warm, heavy hand slid around her waist, turned her and walked her out into the hallway.

It was Ruby who hugged her to her massive bosom and rubbed her back and made soothing noises. She hummed gently. “Everything’s gonna be all right, child.”

Ruth Ann stood in her embrace like a petrified tree.

“Breathe now, honey. Deep breath in, deep breath out.”

She shook her head. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to see. It hurt to think.

“C’mon, now, Ruthie. Breathe for me. I’m-a tellin’ you, there is stuff in this world that don’t make no sense and never will. Stuff there is no explainin’. But you a good girl, Ruthie. You the best kinda girl. An’ if that ol’—” Ruby took in some air. “If that mmmmm-hmmmm in there cain’t see it, that is her problem. It ain’t yours. You hear me? She crazy. She not all bad, but she plumb crazy. You knows it and I knows it and so does everybody ’cept her and maybe Li’l Pigtails, there. But she’ll find out on her own.”

Ruth Ann stood silent, still trembling, as Ruby rubbed her arms, up and down, with her big, strong, kind hands.

From Sheila’s room came the sound of more lullabies and more of Bonnie’s sweet laughter.

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