A Dream of Flame and Shadow by Eliza Eveland

A Dream of Flame and Shadow by Eliza Eveland

Author:Eliza Eveland [Eveland, Eliza]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grim Cat Press
Published: 2022-06-01T16:00:00+00:00


Thirty-Three

Cian

It rained the next morning. The only thing worse than marching off to war in the rain was knowing I was doing so with nothing to come back to. Only weeks ago, I had been so sure, so dedicated to this fight, that I would have sacrificed almost anything to make it happen.

Yet with the day upon me, I looked out over Ezulari from the balcony and felt nothing but emptiness, watching the rain darken the cobblestone streets and the crimson rooftops.

What was I even fighting for? Vengeance? What did the dead care for vengeance? Ren was long gone. Whether his spirit had moved on to the next world, or if it remained here somewhere, it didn’t matter. These battles I was marching off to fight wouldn’t change anything for him. And it would change nothing for her, the one who still lived and hid in her golden city of Jaida. She was too stubborn to change her mind based on a few victories. She saw what I had chosen not to. Defeating Brenna meant nothing. It didn’t mean we stood a chance against Iridyn and his dragon riders, or Balor and his Dream Walkers and Shadow Weavers.

I could stand up there all day and tell myself that I was doing this for my people, but that was a lie, too. How many of them would bleed and die in this war? More than we could afford to lose. Iridyn’s slow extermination of Ezulari might’ve been better than the extermination that awaited us when we lost this war.

No, I was taking Ezulari to war for selfish reasons. I wanted to get my hands around Iridyn’s throat and squeeze until I saw the lights go out. I wanted revenge for what he’d done to Ren. At least, that’s what I had wanted. Now, I wasn’t so sure.

All this time, I had believed I was right. What if I wasn’t? What if Nevahn was right, and I was no better than Iridyn? We were both monsters willing to sacrifice our own people for our own selfish desires.

I closed my eyes against the falling rain and went back to that moment from the day before. Nevahn, covered in bandages, refusing to meet my eyes, begging to go home.

I had done that.

I had broken him in ways no one else could have. He’d trusted me, believed me to be a better man, only to find out the truth in the most horrific way. There was nothing good left in me. There was only anger and hate and vengeance. I had let those things drive me too long for anything else to remain.

The door to the library creaked open and heels clicked against the floor, the sound of Devonay approaching. But she wasn’t alone. Nisang and Odan were with her, a signal that it was time.

I sighed and pushed away from the balcony. My generals were dressed in their armor and ready to ride to war, but it was the sight of Devonay, her eyes puffy and red, that nearly broke me again.



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