The Tourist by Anna Edwards

Author:Anna Edwards
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Anna Edwards

CHAPTER 18

Diego

Chloe’s warm, inviting breath mingles with mine, but as the reality of our situation settles in, guilt crashes over me like a wave. I pull back abruptly, my heart pounding and my mind reeling. I look at her to check she’s all right.

“I-I'm sorry, Chloe. I shouldn’t have done that.”

She looks at me, confusion and hurt etched into her features. “Don’t apologize. I started it. I wanted to kiss you.” I can see the surprise etched on her face at her confession as she strokes her fingertips over her lips.

I shake my head. “You’ve been through so much. I can't take advantage of your vulnerability like this. It’s not right.”

She reaches out, her hand trembling slightly as it rests on my arm. “Please listen to me, Diego. This isn’t about me being vulnerable. I wanted to kiss you. I need to feel normal again. All I feel is dirty, most of the time.”

Her words hit me hard. I look into her eyes, seeing the depth of her pain. “You're not dirty.”

She gives a cynical laugh, shaking her head. “You don’t understand. They injected me with heroin to keep me docile. When they used my body, I was so high I could escape to a different place. But now, without the drugs, all I feel is disgusting.”

The raw emotion in her voice breaks something inside me. I want to reach out and hold her. I want to make everything better, but I’m paralyzed by my own helplessness, my own fears of hurting her, and the blame I feel for her suffering.

“Tell me,” I say softly. “Tell me everything. I want to understand.”

Chloe takes a deep breath, her eyes going distant with memories.

“It was like being trapped in a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. They’d hold me down as the heroin would hit. At first, it was a relief because it numbed everything. But then the real dread started. I could feel them everywhere. I could feel hands, mouths, penises, objects, everything, but I couldn’t fight back. I was trapped in my own body, screaming in a place no one could hear. Your body is the only thing that is truly your own. No one should be able to take away your control over what happens to it. By injecting me with the drugs, they did just that. I couldn’t fight them. I just had to lie there and accept it all. I think that’s the worst part.”

My stomach twists at her words. The thought of her suffering like that is too much to bear. “I-I’m so sorry. I wish I could have been there to stop them.”

She shakes her head, tears running down her face. “It’s not your fault. But now, without the drugs, every touch and every memory is etched into my skin. I can’t scrub any of it away. I want to feel human again.”

Her pain fuels my own rage and helplessness. “You are human. You’re not defined by what they did to you. You’re so much more than that.

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