The Secret Language of Dogs by Jocelyn Kessler

Author:Jocelyn Kessler
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hampton Roads Publishing

Loss of Identity

As I considered what to include in this book, this was a very important chapter for me. I toyed with whether to address this topic or not because, when I have to confront it in a session, it tends to be a very touchy subject for everyone involved, including me. However, because it is common in so many animals, I decided it needed to be written.

One of the major characteristics that human beings and animals share, specifically dogs, is that of being solid in their identity. If we humans don't have a hold on our identity, then just about everything else fails. Our circumstances in life seem confusing and connections to our self and the outside world seem nearly impossible. We want to scream “who am I?” at the top of our lungs hoping to God that we get an answer or something that propels us forward into a clearer realm of understanding.

To illustrate the loss of ability to live out our true natures, I have a story about a little Chihuahua I recently met.

Sammy

She is a girl but was clearly given a boy's name. That's fine, but she also had a male companion who never had a dog before and really had wanted a big boy dog. Sammy was little, but tough. She wasn't allowed to socialize very often with any other dogs, and at home her human companion treated her in a rough and tumble way. All the while, he never truly identified that he ever really loved her. Sammy knew she was a girl, but she brushed her feminine nature aside so she could seem more male and so her human companion would love and acknowledge her. If he needed a boy dog to love, then that is what Sammy would be.

The problem was Sammy had gotten herself into a horrid mess. Her behavioral plan wasn't working, and when I was introduced to her, she was a sad and very confused little dog. She didn't know who or what she should be.

Any time Sammy had an opportunity to socialize with other dogs, the other dogs would give her a hard time. Before she would even get involved with them, Sammy would cry and scream and bark. She was basically saying, “I am confused. I am little. I am a girl but I am supposed to act like a tough boy dog. I never get let out to be a true dog. Frankly, I am a mess. Stay away from me, stay away from me. Where is my identity?”

This case involved a loss of identity for a dog and a severe loss of identity for the human companion as well. I found this out as revealed by the dog's energy when working with the family. The beauty about animals is that they are not selfish. When I am working with them, they not only let me know what is going on with them, but with everyone in the family. They ask, “How can we all be helped?” It is never just the dog—it is always the family unit.

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