The Los Diaries: Part Two: No Place for the Weary Kind by Mark Jones

Author:Mark Jones [Jones, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633232006
Google: 1oftoQEACAAJ
Amazon: B0095VHE9U
Publisher: BooksMango
Published: 2012-09-02T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Seven: New Year’s Day, Pattaya 2010

Well, that’s another one down the gurgler. Oh-nine has come and gone and with it the trials, tribulations, drama, and no end of comedy of watching life go by in the LOS. If you’re a farang/foreigner (or whatever you wish to call anyone who is non-Thai), watching the locals go about their business on a daily basis ensures there’s certainly never a dull moment. Having lived here for the better part of fifteen years I’ve come to realize that there are some things that the locals do very well – such as getting into a group and making a lot of noise. And some things they’ve turned into an art form – like getting into a huge, chaotic, heaving mass and making an ear splitting noise.

One would think that after being here for so long the appreciation of their above mentioned talents would have been fully absorbed; it is most of the time. On Songkran I can be found safely locked away, for the entire day, in my air-conditioned abode, fridge full of Heinekens, and the rugby channel on. Dull bastard? Probably, but a dull bastard with all his limbs still in place. The thing is (and I often find myself after the event wondering how I came to the misplaced conclusion in the first place) in a moment of short term memory loss – usually induced by a few Heinekens too many – I’ll lose focus and forget just how well they do organized chaos.

And so it was on New Year’s Eve. I think it was somewhere about two thirds of the way down Walking Street, while sandwiched into a seething, sweaty mass of humanity, and inching my way towards the concert platform at the south end of the street, I said to myself – ‘you stupid bugger, will you ever learn’. I had to take part of the blame for the situation I’d got myself into because, in the days leading up to The Big Pattaya Countdown 2010, I’d seen the warning signals. There was the blocked road. The scaffolding. The stage and, up on the stage, a Thai bloke doing the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 thing down a mike connected to some of those huge black speakers; the ones that are always at full blast even though there’s no audience. The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 thing is something they never lose enthusiasm for because it seems to go on for hours before they get the tone, or noise level, just right. Anyway, when you see any of that happening, take heed because they’re up to something. Scaffolding, a stage, and the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, thing only mean one thing: chaos, congestion and noise in a public area totally unsuited for chaos, congestion and noise.

In the end I never made it to the “Big Pattaya Countdown 2010” concert finale. Exiting stage left I fought my way back to Second Road, grabbed four Heinekens from a 7-11, and rode the moped half way up Pattaya Hill where I parked up to watch the fireworks.

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