The Long Game by Kathy Altman

Author:Kathy Altman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kathy Altman
Published: 2023-09-29T00:00:00+00:00

- 8 -

AS MUCH AS IVY longed to, she didn’t hide from Seth’s gaze. He didn’t hide from hers, either. She stared into his chocolate eyes and saw shock, yes, but also warmth and encouragement. Pity, too, but not so much she couldn’t handle it.

She let out a long sigh and sat back. “I was eighteen. Preparing to start a four-year scholarship to college when I learned I was pregnant. The father was an ex-boyfriend who wanted nothing to do with the baby after I told him. My parents convinced me that I was too young to be a mother and that it would be in the baby’s best interests to place her with a loving family desperate for a child. They didn’t have to work that hard to coax me toward that decision. At the time, I couldn’t imagine the horror of being tied to a baby when I wasn’t done being a teenager. But the day my daughter was born...”

She was already battling tears when Seth untangled his fingers from hers. No way she could blame him for needing distance. He stood, but instead of moving away, he moved closer. A shimmering gratitude eased the ache behind her breastbone as he crouched at her side. He applied a gentle pressure to her legs, coaxing her to shift sideways in the chair so she’d be facing him.

He rested his hands on her knees. “Tell me about the day your daughter was born,” he said gruffly.

He’d removed his knit cap when they’d entered the house, and his hair remained mussed. His palms on her knees provided a connection she sorely needed, but it wasn’t enough. Then again, as much as she yearned to slide her fingers through his hair, the gesture would assume an intimacy that didn’t exist. That couldn’t exist.

She tucked her hands into the pockets of the jacket she still wore.

“She was born in the morning.” Ivy raised her head and craned her neck to look out the kitchen window into the orange-hued dawn. “An October morning, like this one.” Envisioning her daughter’s tiny round wrinkled face made Ivy’s mouth wobble. “I almost changed my mind,” she whispered.

“But you didn’t.”

She jerked her head left, then right. “I went through with it. I said goodbye and let her go. I’ve regretted it ever since.”

“I’m sorry.” He stood, and lifted his coffee cup. He stared into it a moment and put it back down without drinking. “Grace reminds you of what you gave up,” he said.

“Not gave up, like a bad habit. Gave away.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, the rasp of denim as he lifted his arm loud in the cozy space. “You don’t think you deserve another child.”

“I wasn’t very responsible with the first one. Anyway, it’s more than that. To bring another child into my life...” She shook her head. “It wouldn’t be fair, would it? Not to her. Not to the baby I gave away.”

“Shit.”

She choked out a laugh. “That’s exactly how I’ve always felt about it.

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