The Difference of a Year by M. J. Wilson

Author:M. J. Wilson [Wilson, M.J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Astraea Press, LLC
Published: 2014-02-08T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twelve

The next few days were wearisome. Sherry’s visitation and funeral were the hardest things Jenny had ever done in her life. Ryan’s support confounded her, and she didn't have a clue how she would ever repay the kindness he’d offered at a time she needed it most.

He held an umbrella over her as she watched them lower the casket into the ground. Something between a whimper and a cry escaped her lips as an American Goldfinch answered her in the distance. Ryan anchored her under his arm as the tears came. Jenny clutched at her chest, watching the earth swallow up her best friend.

She inhaled air into her lungs so sharply it sounded like a high-pitched whistle. The preacher’s voice faded into the background as her breathing changed into rapid gasps for air. She’d been unaware that her feet had been moving until she’d reached the chair Ryan sat her down in.

“Slow breaths, Jenny… slow your breathing down,” he said, speaking calmly and distinctly. “Come on now… in… out…”

The ringing subsided from her ears as she followed his instructions. She inhaled the scent of earthworms and moldy leaves into her nostrils as a pounding in her head replaced the numbness that had prevailed moments before.

“It’s okay, you were hyperventilating.”

She took his hand for balance as she stood. Her fingers went to her temple, trying to rub the throbbing away. “This is horrible. How do I say goodbye to her?” Jenny sniffed as her tears joined the raindrops that remained on the damp earth. “We were supposed to grow up together.” Her eyes drifted heavenward. “Graduate, get jobs, get an apartment, and live out our dreams. I don’t want to do it without her.”

Ryan handed her a tissue.

She used it to wipe her eyes and blow her nose. “Eventually, when we had kids, we were going to have barbecues and play-dates. Our kids would be best friends…” Jenny rocked herself and mourned the loss of what would never be.

“Hey, look at me,” he said, lifting her chin and looking into her swollen eyes. “You will do all those things anyway. Maybe not with her directly, but you do it to honor her. I didn’t have the chance to be friends with her for long, but I spent enough time with her to know she would have wanted that.”

The crowd was dispersing, and the time had come for Jenny to leave and give Sherry’s parents some final private time with her. Ryan waited patiently as she got up and moved to where the casket was now settled in the ground. She tossed a bundle of forget-me-nots on top of her casket. “Goodbye, sexy,” she whispered as her tears joined the flowers on the lid. Jenny hugged both of Sherry’s parents and walked to the car with Ryan as she squeezed her middle, trying to put pressure on the hole causing the mind numbing emptiness.

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