TMI by Perez Hilton

Author:Perez Hilton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Chicago Review Press
Published: 2021-06-15T00:00:00+00:00

During the previous few weeks, my cohost Tila Tequila (a MySpace personality and Playboy model turned reality star) and I had been throwing shit at one another in interviews, meaning we had the worst ever chemistry for two hosts. I have a suspicion that was what MTV was hoping for, but either way it was the reason the photographers were swarming around me like wasps around a trashcan. That suited me perfectly, not least because it allowed me to forget myself for a while.

As for the party, there isn’t much to say other than it all went well, though the production team did occasionally have to physically pull Tila and me apart.

But once I got back to my hotel room, I felt worse than I had before I left. I remember taking off my velvet jacket, kicking off my shoes, and then heading straight for the tiny desk, where there was an ice bucket and a bottle of champagne waiting for me. I read the New Year’s greeting from MTV on the card and popped the cork. I didn’t actually like champagne all that much, but this was one of those occasions when I felt like not only was it justified to use any means necessary to chase my demons, but I actually didn’t have any choice.

I filled a glass and sat down on my bed to look out of the window. Every now and again, fireworks lit up the sky, and I could still hear the party going on in Times Square. I swigged my champagne and tried to feel some kind of satisfaction, but it was impossible. It was like I was racing myself, methodically emptying the bottle by constantly topping up my glass. The carousel had temporarily stopped, and the noise had been replaced by complete nothingness.

I raised the glass and toasted myself. But if I had been hoping to cheer myself up with the gesture, it left me feeling even more downbeat.

I need to make some changes, I said to myself.

I really meant it.

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