Survival Tactics by Elizabeth Bonesteel

Author:Elizabeth Bonesteel [Bonesteel, Elizabeth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Elizabeth Bonesteel

After we lost twelve, bringing our staffing down to thirty-six, I told Kellan about the dreams. Even after all these years, all the bitterness and hatred, I still thought he’d comfort me.

He rolled his eyes. “The universe doesn’t fucking revolve around you, you know,” he said, and walked away.

I knew, then, what I should have known years ago. And I knew what the dreams meant.

Sometimes you stay together only because you said you would, because you made a promise. Because it’s the right thing to do. Loyalty. And then you’ve lived your whole life, and loyalty is hollow and starved and meaningless, and there’s nothing left for you at all.

Kellan never understood. It was never the others, the ones he looked at the way he used to look at me–decades since I wanted to touch him, since I’d grieved the feeling I’d lost. It wasn’t even the acrimony that followed us to every new job, every new attempt to leave our corrosive history behind.

It wasn’t Kellan that broke me. It was time. Everything’s relative, right?

He should’ve left me. Why didn’t he leave me? If he’d left me, I’d’ve been free.

And I wouldn’t have had to kill him.

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