Stray Decorum by George Singleton

Author:George Singleton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Stray Decorum
ISBN: 9781938103612
Publisher: Dzanc Books
Published: 2012-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

“I guess I’m supposed to give you some fatherly advice,” Charlie Kent said. “One, don’t take any wooden nickels. Two, don’t ever work for H&R Block, and probably not for Delta or Northwest airlines. Three, make sure your wife has a sense of humor, and some patience. Well, don’t ever get married and you can strike off that little problem right away. Four—do you have a checking account?—write a bad check so you don’t go around worrying about having bad credit all the time.” He drank from his mug. “Five. Goddamn. I practiced this whole speech on the way up there. I had six things.”

Madison said, “I don’t care if you call me Chip.” He craned over to the beer with his straw and sipped hard. “You can call me Chip.”

Karla brought two more mugs. She said, “Cap’n Del called in sick. Do you know what this means? He never calls in sick. They say he ain’t missed a day since his wife died two or three years ago.”

“Thanks, Karla,” Madison said. “I tell you what, when you become a dental hygienist I’m going to start going to a dentist every month. You know what would be cool? If you could clean teeth, and do a split at the same time.”

“Five!” Charlie Kent yelled out. To Karla he said, “Well, we’re sorry that we’re going to miss Cap’n Del. Give him our regards.” He gathered empty mugs and slid them toward the table’s edge. Turning back to his son Charlie said, “Five. Your first day of college? Miss all your classes. Listen. Every day you show up for school, or a job, or a marriage—it’s like winding up the rubber band on one of those balsa wood airplanes with the plastic propeller. Sooner or later the rubber’s going to crack up and break, you know what I mean?”

Madison looked at his wristwatch. He thought, I need to call Mom. He said, “I have to pee,” and got up. In the men’s room, which had only a toilet, he locked the door. He punched his home number, it rang four times, and the answering machine picked up. He said, “I’m still here. Everything’s fine. Dad might get a part-time job as a bagrunner, which isn’t the same thing as a drug runner, according to him. Anyway. I’m still here. Cap’n Del called in sick, though.”

He hung up, then peed in the sink.

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