Sleeping Late On Judgement Day by Tad Williams

Author:Tad Williams
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2014-08-19T16:00:00+00:00

twenty-seven

another death threat

I KNOCKED ON the door and one of them said “Come in.” So I went in.

Both of the Amazons were in Caz’s expansive tub. Naked. Slick and wet and covered in suds, tattoos gleaming. There was water all over the tiles. Halyna had made little pasties for herself out of soap bubbles that bobbed up and down as she rubbed shampoo into her red hair. Oxana hadn’t bothered, but she had a dollop of soap froth on top of her wet head like she was a cappuccino. Lots of lean, muscular, young body, two women’s worth, dripping and soapy. I saw all that in about two seconds, then I jumped back and slammed the door.

“Jesus Henry Christ!” I said. “What are you doing? Do you want to kill me?”

“What is wrong, Bobby?” Halyna called from the other side of the door.

“What’s wrong? You two are nude. I am fucking celibate and not liking it at all. You are either monsters or dumb-asses or both.”

I could hear them both giggling. I never knew Ukrainian dykes could make that noise—like evil Campfire Girls. “But you are angel, Bobby!” called Oxana. “That means you are like doctor.”

“No. No, it doesn’t mean that at all. And do you get naked and lathered up to go to a medical appointment? I hope not. Seriously, don’t do that shit to me.”

“Sorry, Bobby.” But they didn’t sound sorry at all. I hate it when people take advantage of my kind nature, because I never fucking wanted to have a kind nature in the first place. “I was going to tell you the boys are here. Come on out so we can get to work.” I paused, realizing I’d left them a loophole. “Come on out with clothes on that cover all the important bits. Clarence and Wendell may not care, but I’m wired differently than they are.”

“That’s true,” said Clarence from the other room. “You’re wired to be an asshole. My name is Harrison, remember?”

I went back to the living room and sat down heavily. “Look, I promised I’d try. I make mistakes sometimes. Do me a favor and don’t correct me every time, okay?” I started laying out the maps, waiting for the women to make their appearance. “How are you two, by the way? Everything okay with work? Not too many questions?”

“Most of the others don’t even know we’re a couple,” said Wendell, smiling at the kid. “We’ve been kind of keeping it on the down low, because of this.”

“That’s not really what I was asking.” I made a few marks on the museum map. “Maybe Wendell’s really keeping quiet because he’s ashamed of you, Harrison. After all, nobody likes a nag.”

“Trying to get you to behave with normal human decency is not the same as nagging, Bobby.” He rolled his eyes. “As angels go, you’re a complete pig.”

“Yeah, which is why I just shut the door on a couple of naked women in my tub without standing there long enough to read all their tattoos.

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