Shark Hunting in Paradise Garden by Cameron Pierce
Author:Cameron Pierce [Pierce, Cameron]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Bizarro
ISBN: 9781933929774
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
Published: 2008-10-14T05:00:00+00:00
CHAPTER NINE
Escape from the House of Amputation
Sadhara’s voice echoes over the intercom system, which means it’s either separate from the primary power source or they have a backup generator. “Alert: Enemy attack. This is not a test. All squad members report to Gate Three for further instruction.”
As soon as Sadhara clicks off, the robots closest to the door pry at it with their metal claws. They prove themselves even stronger than I realized, opening the heavy metal door with ease. The robots file out in single file without committing whatever terrible acts they had planned for us.
Although we’re in no condition to go anywhere, being alone right now might be our only opportunity to scheme an escape.
“So what’s our plan?” I say.
“Plan?” Ira says. “What the hell good would that do us? We’re fucked.”
“We can’t be crippled forever,” I say.
The Wayne-Donkey hybrid whimpers. “What has God done to me?”
“We don’t need your shit right now, Waynkey,” Ira says.
Waynkey hee-haws and snuffles.
The door slides open and a robot enters, holding a lantern. It turns out to be Eye again. They’ve sent him to guard 66
SHARK HUNTING IN PARADISE GARDEN
us until the battle ends, which kills our shot at escaping.
“Who’s attacking?” I say.
“That information is classified,” Eye says.
“I just want to―”
“Human, be quiet.” he says. holding the lantern out like a dagger. “This lantern is magic.”
“Magic?” Waynkey says.
Eye hangs the lantern from a ceiling hook. “The oil in this lantern will melt your brain and turn your skull into a lantern.”
“So you can tell us that but can’t say who the hell is attacking?” Ira says.
“Your sedatives must be wearing off,” the robot says.
He walks over to a steel cabinet and pulls out three syringes.
A miniature jellyfish squirms inside each of them. “Do you feel any pain yet?” he says.
No one says anything. Whatever painkillers swim through our veins, I want no more of them. The pain and sober acknowledgment of being a cripple is definitely preferable.
Eye raises the needles above his head. “Whiskey,” he says.
“Those are jellyfish,” I say. “It isn’t whiskey.”
Eye opens a panel on his right forearm and jabs one of the needles into a black circuit board. “Since you left,” he says.
“What does he mean?” Waynkey asks me.
I shrug. The strap around my neck is starting to cut off circulation.
“He means the robots run on jellyfish whiskey.
They’re fucking addicts,” Ira says.
“That would prove correct, although I doubt that any of your kind would have arrived at that conclusion on your own,” Eye says, discarding the empty syringe and punching in a second needle. “You see, we are not so unlike 67
CAMERON PIERCE
you in that we possess a perfectly natural, albeit modified, nervous system. Your stupid human frailty is what separates you from us. Almost pitiful, would you agree? I never understand how all of you remain, how you carry on day after day without growing sick of yourselves. With your gods and your politics and all the garbage mannerisms, all the little lies on which you found entire kingdoms.
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