Magnolia Wild Vanishes (A Charmed Cat Mystery, Book 1) by Peggy Webb

Author:Peggy Webb
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: amateur sleuth, best friends, southern fiction, humorous mystery, cat mystery, funny mystery, southern author, private investigator series, cozy mystery series, cat sleuth
Publisher: Peggy Webb

Chapter 7

In which Houdini fingers a killer

I hadn’t seen Pearl and Grace this excited since Grace passed herself off as Mae West—many years after the movie star was already dead. But that’s Grace for you, so charming and seemingly innocent nobody would believe she’s one of the most complex women I’ve ever met. And believe, me, I’ve met a few—two-legged as well as four. My feline de jour is a Siamese named Patty Cake, and let me tell you, that cat knows more ways to get into trouble than Pearl and Grace did when they were spying for the U.S. Government.

But back to the situation at hand--Pearl carried the murder weapon upstairs to see if Josh could lift any prints, and now she’s trying to run the show downstairs where the three women are holed up with a little bit of tea and a whole lot of bad ideas.

“I hid the gun in the garbage can behind that heifer, Ann Leveau’s house.” Pearl’s smile of satisfaction had a definite feline quality to it.

“Why would you do that, Pearl? Lolly took Charles away from her forty years ago! Surely Ann hasn’t held a grudge that long.”

“Who do you think told Lolly the love potion I sold her was weak and out of date? Ann Leveau!”

I could tell them more about the love potion than they could ever guess. I was in the magnolia tree outside Lolly’s bedroom window when she tried to use to the potion to lure her straying husband back to her bed. Picture this—Charles shirtless, with his pot belly hanging over the top of his Fruit of the Looms and his socks rolled down around his hairy ankles, trying to keep a straight face when Lolly trotted out of the bathroom with seduction on her mind. She reeked of Love Potion Hot Mama, but she’d ignored the rest of Pearl’s instructions about how to dress. Instead of high-heeled mules and black lace that woman was decked out in a granny gown that covered her neck to ankle, a green satin cap over her brand new beauty shop do so it wouldn’t get wrecked in all her amorous endeavors, two pounds of cold cream on her face and green fuzzy socks to keep her feet warm. And it was a hundred and ten in the shade.

Charles nearly died on the spot—from choking on his own laughter.

“Char- lie!” she sang out. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Good lord, Lolly. What now?”

“Just you wait and see, Charlie, my hot tamale.” Lolly whipped up her gown and there was Christmas, all decked out with a red ribbon. Charles fainted, cracked his head on the bed post and ended up in ER. It took six stitches to patch him up.

He didn’t get rid of his headache till his mistress, Susie Trumpet, of dubious Hollywood fame, showed him the joys of a bedroom that never has to depend on Love Potion Hot Mama. No offense to Pearl and Grace and the Charmed Cat. They’ve helped more people than I can count, and I’m a genius cat.

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