I, a Squealer by Richard Bruns

Author:Richard Bruns
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: I, a Squealer: The Insider’s Account of the “Pied Piper of Tucson” Murders
ISBN: 9780983166559
Publisher: Twin Feather Publishing
Published: 2018-01-30T00:00:00+00:00

I heard the refrigerator door slam downstairs. I threw the covers off of me, sat up on the edge of the bed, and looked about the room. I’d forgotten where I was. I broke out into a cold sweat as I glanced around. The room seemed to swirl; the walls seemed to close in around me. Then I knew.

Kathy! Where was Kathy? I had to find her. I had to tell her Smitty was coming for her, and that she was in danger. He was coming to take her out to the desert, to make her do all of those things he’d made Alleen do—just like in my dream—and then kill her.

He would kill her! I had to find her to help her. I had to protect her. But where was she? Oh God, that was it! That was why I could never get to her in my dream. I was too far away. He was already with her. They were already out in the desert. Maybe she was already dead!

I jumped up from the bed and ran to the window. I looked out at the wooden houses across the street: strange houses, with porches and steps leading up to the porches, and with attics, and gabled roofs. The street there—it would go on and on and never find its way to her. She was no longer just down the block. She was a million miles away from me, and she was only seven miles away from Smitty. He could have covered that distance in minutes, and the desert was only a little ways further.

How could I know? There was no way. She had exiled me from her. Why? Hadn’t she known? Oh, why hadn’t I told her? Why was it that every time I picked up the phone to call her I would put it down again just before I dialed the last number? Why hadn’t I blurted it out in court, in front of her parents and everybody? Why hadn’t I told the FBI men who had been waiting for us when we’d gotten back from the bodies that night? They’d asked me, and Smitty had been in the other room, but I told them I didn’t know where Gretchen and Wendy were. Why had I been afraid? Why was I afraid to go downstairs to the phone now and call?

No! It was too big a thing. I couldn’t start it. If I told, I would be a finger man, and everyone would hate me. Just think of all I would start if I called. I might even get put into prison. After all, it had already been two months since the time I’d been out to the bodies with Smitty. That’s a long time to hold on to information. They’d kill me in prison because I’d talked.

If I called, I would be betraying a friend. Think of what I’d be doing to him! I held his very life in the balance. And I couldn’t hate him. I was deeply attached to him in spite of everything.

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