His Best Stories by Witi Ihimaera

Author:Witi Ihimaera [Ihimaera, Witi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781742288710
Publisher: Penguin Random House New Zealand
Published: 2013-04-08T00:00:00+00:00

Dustbins

You can always tell what people are like by what they throw out in their rubbish. Take it from me, I should know, I’m an expert. Me and my bros work the dustcarts day in day out Monday to Friday. I’ve been doing the job for, how long now? Seems like years but it’s probably less. Actually, I was pretty lucky to get the job in the first place. I came down here from the Coast. No brains, no money, no job. Dumb as. Me and the old man weren’t getting along all that good and whenever he got drunk he beat up on me. Well there’s only so much a man can take. So one night when he was getting stuck into me I took a poke back at him. He told me to get out. So I did.

newspapers/plastic cups/the Evening Post/rotten apples/Watties cans/old magazines/old chicken drumsticks and bones/North&South

I landed down here at my cuz Crazy-Joe’s place. He took one look at me and said, Not another Ngati and I suppose you’re skint too. But he opened the door and said, Any space you find on the floor is yours.

You know Wilson Street? That’s Crazy-Joe’s place. It’s the biggest party house in town. All the bros drink there, straight after payday Thursday to Monday morning, one long party. The women, man, they’s easy. And the fights are the best. Last Friday the cops came twice. Hardcase, man, you should have seen it. Some girl screaming she’d been assaulted.

Anyway, I’d been here two weeks when Crazy-Joe kicked me awake one morning. Hey kid, he says, you been bludging off us for too long, freeloading, and it’s time you started paying your way. I asked him, What you mean? And he says, The boss, Harry, sacked one of the bros and there’s a vacancy so I told Harry I got a meathead cuz, strong as. And Harry says, Can he hack the job? And I says, Sure, you should see the legs on him. Big as. So you got the job kid.

That’s the way with us cuzzies. Man, Crazy-Joe really looked after me. They don’t come more staunch than him.

Used condoms/rusting razor blades/Knight riders/catshit/Gillette/decaying vegetables/Kentucky Fried/shampoo bottles/hair recently cut/Cold Power/mouldy bread/New Zealand The Way You Want It

Do I remember the first day? Do I what. I used to think I was pretty fit but not for these hills. I was on the truck with Crazy-Joe, Bill and two other guys, so I thought I was sweet. I mean Bill was as skinny as, and Crazy-Joe had a gut so big he couldn’t see his thing unless it was hard. I was the fifth man, the spare they called me.

We must have got to the yard about six. Harry, the Pakeha boss, signed me on and read me the rules and then said I could be on Crazy-Joe’s round. Crazy-Joe said, Just my luck to have a rookie but I know he didn’t mean it. Bill took first shift as the driver and me, Crazy-Joe and the other two guys were on the back, standing on the ramp of the truck.

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