Final Cut by Lin Anderson

Author:Lin Anderson [Anderson, Lin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton
Published: 2009-10-07T00:00:00+00:00

29

Emma was asleep, her breathing hushed. The album lay open on the bed. Claire lifted it and went to shut the curtains. A light fall of snow had dressed the fields in a pearly-white sheen under a three-quarters moon. She stood for a moment, breathing in the peace of the place. This was why she’d come here, and despite everything that had happened in the past week she didn’t regret the move.

Claire wished she could save this moment for ever, bring it back in all its intensity when she needed it most. She closed her eyes and focused on remembering all aspects of it; moonlight on snow, the inky blue of the sky, the soft delicate light in the room, the sound of Emma’s quiet, untroubled breath and the scent of warm-washed child, hair still damp from the bath.

She shut the door quietly behind her and went downstairs, taking the album with her. In the sitting room the fire had settled to a steady glow. This was the time Claire liked best, when the day had drawn to a close and she could sit alone, knowing Emma was safely asleep upstairs. Knowing she would not spend the evening listening for a car, for the sound of Nick’s key turning in the lock. She no longer had to dread that look on his face.

She sat beside the fire and opened the album. The inscription on the front page read, To Emma, darling grandchild, from Granny. Here is your story.

The album was divided into three parts. Three generations of women told in pictures and words. Claire leafed through the section devoted to Emma first. It was a strange thing to experience your daughter’s life through your own mother’s eyes. Claire was both moved and surprised, as she discovered little references and comments her mother and Emma had obviously shared which she hadn’t been party to. Claire thought back to that night in the car when Emma had asked whether Granny would die and she, caught up in her own worries, had answered sharply. Tears pricked at her eyes.

Claire flipped forward a few pages to find a photograph of herself held in her mother’s arms. Beneath was the inscription Claire 6 months. She registered the strong resemblance between the baby she had been and her own daughter at the same age. A later photo showed her sitting on a bed, totally absorbed in a book, a pile of others beside her, much like Emma. It was the words written below which startled Claire. Your mum would hum to herself, especially if she was concentrating hard or worrying about something.

Claire had no recollection of doing that, yet there it was in black and white. It comforted her somehow. How she’d hated hearing that sound coming from Emma’s room, seeing her blank-eyed absorption. Yet apparently she had done the same herself.

Claire skimmed through a few more pages, seeing herself grow taller, more gangly, awkward and shy. Then a photograph with Dougie when her pregnancy was just showing.

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