Falling is Flying by Ajahn Brahm

Author:Ajahn Brahm [Brahm, Ajahn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781614294375
Publisher: Wisdom Publications
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

The Unifable: Make It Right

IT NEVER CEASES to amaze me how much time and energy people spend worrying about decisions. Do I turn left or right? Go here or there? Do this or that?

People come to me all the time and say, “I’m in love, but I can’t decide whether or not I should get married.”

“The decision to get married is no big deal,” I reply. “It’s what you do afterward that matters.”

The bigger the decision, the bigger the worry. So much energy goes into weighing the pros and cons of this possibility or that result. We anticipate the future like fortunetellers with crystal balls. We make decisions as though our happiness hangs in the balance. No wonder that by the time a decision has been made, no energy is left to make whatever it is we have decided on work!

Save your energy for what happens after you’ve made your decision. To make that decision right.

On the question of whether or not to ordain bhikkhunis, I could have chased my tail endlessly around in circles, pondering, “Should I or shouldn’t I?” I knew very well that by ordaining them I was going to cause myself a load of trouble. Yet my heart told me that I really had no choice: it was the right thing to do. If it’s a choice between your head and heart, always choose your heart.

After you make a choice, the real work starts. Part of that work is resisting the very human temptation to look backward. Don’t start thinking “if, if, if”: What if I had made a different decision? Married a different person? Taken a different job?

We can’t know about these ifs. We will never discover what would have happened! Spiritual people like to talk about the ineffable. I prefer the inifable.

The past is always inifable. Don’t if the past. It’s a self-inflicted agony and a total waste of time. We will never make peace with life while we dwell on would-have-beens, could-have-beens, and should-have-beens.

Trust your heart when you make decisions. Then spend your energy making those decisions right.

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