Engaging NLP for Tweens by Judy Bartkowiak

Author:Judy Bartkowiak
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: NLP, nlp for teens, nlp for tweens, nlp for young people, nlp practitioner, bullying, teenage issues
ISBN: 9781780922515
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited 2012
Published: 2012-09-26T00:00:00+00:00

What do you look like, what are you wearing?

What are you doing?

Who are you with?

What sounds can you hear?

Now open your eyes and be aware that you have already been through a change in schools when you first arrived at this school. You got through it didn’t you? You made friends and you had a great time. The same will be true for you at your secondary school because you already have the skills you need and the experience of having done it before.

Example

Even famous actors are nervous before a new play starts or before filming a new movie. They experience sweaty palms and butterflies in the stomach. They say it is a mixture of worries that things will go wrong and excitement about the things that will go right. When they start to experience the nerves they welcome them, knowing that this is what will insure they do a great performance.

Moving to secondary school is a bit like that isn’t it? Remember the map is not the territory though. If you’re worried about the move you can be pretty sure that your parents are even more worried as they see this as a huge

step in your life and theirs. It is your choice whether you take that step with a big smile on your face and a positive attitude or whether you choose not to. You will have plenty more choices when you start secondary school so use this book to explore how to make positive choices that are best for you.

We’ve just been thinking about the move to secondary school but we may have other changes to cope with and not all of them are positive are they? As children you don’t get much say in what happens to you and will have to do things you don’t want to do and feel resentful about. You may also have to be stopped from doing things you do want to do and feel resentful about that too.

Again you have a choice. You can decide to feel really angry or you can look for the positive intention. Your best choice is to assume that your parents love you and that your teacher wants the best for you so step into their map and look at the situation from another angle.

Be curious about what their positive intention is. Imagine yourself in their shoes. If you were doing or saying this, what might be the positive reason? Perhaps this is their reason too?

Once you understand their positive intention you can negotiate for what you want by offering them another way for them to get this. This way you have a ‘win win’.

For example, if your parents want you to do your homework or revise for some tests rather than go out, the positive intention is for you to do well. Perhaps you could agree to do an hour’s work before you go out? What other options might there be to meet that positive intention with a behaviour you would find acceptable and

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