Elena Vanishing by Elena Dunkle

Author:Elena Dunkle [Elena and Clare B. Dunkle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
Published: 2015-05-24T16:00:00+00:00

12

It’s November, just three months since I was at the top of my game.

I’m not at the top of anything anymore.

Slowly, still tangled in shreds of dreams, I become aware of my surroundings. Pain has brought me back: dull, throbbing aches where my vertebrae are and sharp stabs of soreness from the cartilage of my ribs. My skull is a tight helmet, clamping my swollen brain. My eyeballs ache in their tender sockets.

I sit up. An orderly bedroom assembles itself around me. But all the sophistication in the world can’t cover up the fact that this is the same room where my sister, the dogs, and I slept in bunk beds when I was ten.

The dogs are dead. Valerie is married—no beach wedding, no maid of honor. And I’m still here: the one who tried to make her way out into the world and failed.

You’re a loser, says the voice in my head. They robbed you. You let them win.

Aspirin. I need aspirin. I need nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs.

I stumble into the bathroom to hunt for the Excedrin, and Dylan greets me with a swish of his long tail. Like a tiny blue dragon in flight, he floats across a big rectangular aquarium though a forest of silk plants that Mom bought him.

Dylan is more Mom’s fish than mine now. She spends her spare time teaching him tricks.

The bathroom is 1970s kitsch: glittery Formica and pitted chrome. Dark wood paneling lines the walls, stained by decades of spills and splashes. Not even Dylan’s graceful beauty can improve the place.

I wander back to my bedroom and throw myself onto the bed with a sigh. Come back, dreams. Come hide me away.

My phone dings. Somebody messaged me. I don’t care.

My phone dings again. Another new message. They crowd in day and night. Why can’t people just leave me alone?

But I grope for the phone out of habit.

lanie can u drive me to work? car wont start, love chris

I yawn. Maybe I can, if I still have enough time before my . . .

NO!

Mom is sitting in the living room, typing her new manuscript into her laptop. I hold the phone out at her accusingly.

“My alarm didn’t go off!” I shout.

Mom raises an eyebrow. “It went off.”

“You heard it? I can’t believe this! Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I tried. First you told me that you didn’t have to go to class today. Then you told me to go to hell.”

“You shouldn’t have listened to me!” I insist. “You should have made me get up! My physiology exam starts in forty-five minutes. You know how important this class is!”

Mom just looks at me—a long, steady look. My skull feels like it’s cracking at the temples.

The voice in my head is chanting: Loser! Loser! Loser!

“I’ll never find a parking place in time!” I say. “She’ll shut the door. I’ll fail the test! Will you take me to school?”

“Will you eat breakfast?” Mom counters.

Anger flashes through me. It is so like Mom to drag food into this!

“You know there’s no time for breakfast!” I say.

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