Donna Joy Usher - Chanel 02 - Goons 'n' Roses by Donna Joy Usher

Author:Donna Joy Usher [Usher, Donna Joy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Mystery: Cozy - Vacation - Las Vegas
ISBN: 0987320785
Publisher: Lush Publications
Published: 2014-03-09T06:00:00+00:00

7

Things Just Got Even Weirder

I was ready to go when Martine knocked on my door at half-past seven. She was carrying an array of shopping bags and sporting a new wig. This one was blonde.

‘That’s, arghh, an interesting hairstyle,’ I said. Her shoulder-length hair was standing up in clumps as if someone has teased it till it was matted. ‘Is it from the grunge range?’

‘An orangutan attacked me,’ she said as she pushed past me and into the room.

‘Excuse me,’ I said, ‘it sounded like you said an orangutan attacked you.’

‘I did.’ She opened the door to my mini-bar and started rifling through the contents, finally removing a small bottle of vodka. Twisting the lid off, she downed the contents in one swift pull.

‘So, you had a good day then?’

‘It was peachy till I got back to the hotel. Then this huge, orange-haired monkey attacked me.’

‘Technically they’re not monkeys,’ I said. I had watched a documentary on them while I’d been in hospital.

She stopped with her mouth half-open and raised her eyebrows at me.

‘Sorry, go on,’ I said, going to the fridge and pulling out another small bottle.

Mollified, she took it from me and twisted off the lid, taking a sip before continuing. ‘It was waiting outside the entrance door, looking all sad. I stopped to make sure it was all right and it beckoned me over.’ She took another drink. ‘I thought it wanted me to pat it, but when I tried, it attacked me.’

Geez Louise. She’d tried to pat it? She was lucky she still had arms.

‘It pulled my wig off but I managed to grab it. We had a tug-o-war and this is the end result.’ She pointed at her head.

‘You won?’ I was genuinely impressed. Orangutans were immensely strong.

She grimaced. ‘Think of it more as if my wig were a Christmas bob-bon and I got the largest part.’ She pivoted to show me the back where a large clump of hair was missing.

‘So how was the shopping?’

‘Well,’ she said, looking a bit happier, ‘I only did it because you told me I had to look normal, but I bought the most gorgeous red dress and matching shoes and bag, and Nine West was having a sale and they had these pumps in my size.’ She pointed to her feet which were sporting black suede pumps.

‘Nice,’ I said, wishing I had a new pair of pumps.

She took a mobile phone out of her bag. ‘I just got one,’ she said, ‘because I figured you could use Lorr… umm Tess’s.’

‘Good idea,’ I said, pulling Mum’s phone out of my bag. I programmed Martine’s new number into Mum’s phone and she added Mum and Trent’s to hers.

‘How did you go with Big H?’

I told her about my conversation and about Lou the Brain. Then I told her about Tommy Tiger.

‘Holy smoking Batman and Robin,’ she said, putting a hand to her heart when I got to the part about the search warrant. ‘Why are you not in jail?’

She looked nervously around the room as I told her the rest.

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