Circle by Garrett Leigh

Author:Garrett Leigh
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Garrett Leigh

Chapter Ten

Ash

Pete probably would’ve carried me to the van if I’d let him. I didn’t, obviously, but I couldn’t deny how much I’d missed this side of our relationship—the way he cared for me after he’d fucked me. In the past, I’d needed it. Now, with clear eyes, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed him.

We gathered what little stuff we’d brought in from the van and abandoned the cabin. Part of me didn’t want to leave such a beautiful place behind, but we had another campsite to get to, and we were already starting out much later than we’d planned.

Pete opened the passenger door for me. “I’m driving.”

I didn’t argue. Getting fucked, however wonderful it was, always turned me inside out. I was going to fall asleep, and he knew it.

We were a few hours in when we stopped for gas. I was awake by then and starting to feel the effects of sitting in the passenger seat for so long.

“You need to eat,” Pete said. “And I need coffee.”

I felt like shit, and the prospect of trying to eat made my already churning stomach do an extra flip, but seeing as we’d skipped dinner and breakfast, I let him drag me into yet another diner, this one a truck stop.

“Get eggs,” Pete said. “And some whole wheat toast. Greasy bacon will make it worse.”

“Does this mean you’re not having bacon?”

Pete grinned. “Maybe.”

He didn’t have bacon or sausage or hash browns or any other fried delights he likely had his eye on. We both had scrambled eggs and bagels, and by the time I was done, I felt a gazillion times better.

“So…” Pete pushed his plate away but didn’t elaborate.

“So… what?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said about, um, my mental health.”

“Oh.” I slid my plate aside too. “I don’t want to fight about that.”

“Fight?”

I toyed with a discarded packet of sugar. “Yeah. It probably didn’t come out right yesterday, but I stand by what I said. Something’s gotta give or you’re going to end up as fucked up as me.”

“You’re not fucked up.”

“Yes, I am. But I can deal because I have the tools to manage it. If I hadn’t had help, I’d be long dead, and we both know it.”

Pete’s eyes blazed. “I’m not going to kill myself.”

You didn’t kill your mom either. But I didn’t say it. We had the rest of our lives to talk about Maggie. Right now, Pete needed to get better. “You don’t need to kill yourself to stop living.”

The waitress came with the coffee jug. He waved her away and asked for the check. “I’m not going to argue with that, and for what it’s worth, I agree with your, uh, diagnosis. My point is that you don’t have to run yourself down to convince me.”

“Why didn’t you fucking say so then?”

Pete rolled his eyes. “I would if we could have a conversation without going around in circles.”

The waitress returned. I paid the check and then hooked the van keys with my thumb. “You’re right, but we can’t fix that with silence, so we need to keep talking.

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