Born To Win: Transactional Analysis With Gestalt Experiments by Muriel James;Dorothy Jongeward

Author:Muriel James;Dorothy Jongeward
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2013-01-08T07:44:00+00:00

Sick people commonly desire the same foods-tea, milk-toast, custard, or chicken soup-that they adapted to when they were sick as children. Their Little Professor may think of these foods as magic potions, and they may eat them, even though their Natural Child may want only ice cream and jello [9].

When people are tired, their Natural Child may want to sleep or do nothing. Their Adapted Child may not dare give in to these feelings, especially if goodness is equated with keeping busy. To settle the inner conflict the Little Professor may figure out how to get by with a cat nap.

When people are worried, their Natural Child often wants something to suck on: a cigarette, a piece of gum or candy, a drink. Their Adapted Child may procrastinate and not face the problem or may expect others to solve it. If their Little Professor gets into the act, the individuals may come up with a creative solution or may call on some form of magic to make the problem go away.

When people are badly hurt, their Natural Child wants to scream, cry, and demand care. Their Adapted Child may withdraw in silent agony, especially if they learned in childhood that crying brought spanking. Their Little Professor may figure out that looking pathetic results in needs being met or that hiding the injury avoids the trip to the doctor. Every person has his or her own individual responses. Many situations, such as a party, a test, a day off, a vacation, a sudden windfall, a promotion, or being fired, activate the Child ego state.

For example, at a party a person's Adapted Child may feel shy or unliked, and may wish he or she hadn't come. Then the Little Professor discovers that alcohol knocks out the inhibiting Parent, and the person becomes less shy. Continued drinking also knocks out the Adult, leaving the person at the mercy of the unguarded Child. Having lost inner control, the person may express unpredictable behavior from any part of the Child ego state and may fight, swear, sing, dance, insult the hostess, or become amorous. Eventually, the Child may succumb to the alcohol. and the person "passes out."

Another person may arrive at the party with his or her Natural Child ready to laugh, play, and have fun. A person whose Parent is less inhibiting than in the case above may not feel the same need for alcohol and may be a delight to be with; or, if untempered by reason, the person may selfishly hog the stage for the evening. If the latter is true, she or he is likely to provoke someone else's critical Parent or resentful Child who also wants a place in the spotlight.

In addition to stress and specific situations, certain transactions also tend to activate the Child. When one person "comes on" with the Parent ego state, the other is likely to experience his or her Child. Parental comments like the following usually "hook" the Child.

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