A Little Undead by Laira Evans

Author:Laira Evans [Evans, Laira]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2013-06-18T05:00:00+00:00

Strange. That's the first thing they think when they see me. It's always just small things, at first. I notice it when I enter a room, the discomfort that even perfect strangers feel in my presence. The subtle tensing of their shoulders, the half-clenched jaws and nervous ticks from tapping fingers to clicking pens or a sudden clearing of the throat. They don't know why, not immediately. They'll turn around slowly, fearfully, searching for the seven foot man with knives between each finger or the zombie in the dark. Then they'll see me. I don't meet their eyes anymore. No matter how many times I stare into the mirror I can never find it, that mark that makes me so very different from everyone else. But I know it's there.

Shortly after I discovered this underground city I started wearing a hooded sweatshirt, purple and pink and electric blue across the back. I still haven't grown into it, its faded and worn sleeves brushing at my knuckles as I hugged Holly to my chest. I was still optimistic then, now I'm only hopeful. No matter how many times Alfonse offers me a new one I refuse, because I know it would be smaller than the one I'm wearing. It would feel too much like giving up. I've given up on too many things already.

“Beans?”

“Yes please,” I said, holding up my tray with eyes averted. This man was nicer than others I had met. I trust him not to pour any on my hands, or to scant my portion. I backed away quickly. If I didn't spend too much time around him maybe he would stay nice a little while longer.

I left the cafeteria, weaving between those who refused to allow me easy passage until at last I reached the tunnel. Behind me was the cavern, massive and full of tents and the occasional permanent structure built since the Outbreak. Ahead there was only one dwelling. Few had the nerve to enter the tunnel at night, to walk past the oil slicks that were the last line of defense and through the winding tunnel that carried echos of footsteps until it seemed like an army of undead dogged you. And there, at the end, stood the shack that was our home. Beyond that was only the fire, and the night.

I sat down on a granite outcropping, not far from the fires. Alfonse would be out to tend them soon, half mad though he was from staring too long into the night, but for now we were alone. I stretched my back against a boulder after taking Holly out of the baby carrier, working out the kinks in my spine. She was definitely getting bigger, unlike me. Soon she'd be making her own way to Cavern Town. I was just glad she could mostly get by on solid foods now.

As I fed her the beans I tried to point out how many were in each spoonful. I wasn't sure she understood any of it yet but it was as much for me as for her.

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