A Kingdom of Dreams by Sam Northman

Author:Sam Northman [Northman, Sam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-03-22T00:00:00+00:00

TWENTY-FIVE

Consumed by the Threat

(Markus)

I knew that when Faron was discharged from the hospital, when I had him with me twenty-four/seven, it would be hard to hide the truth from him for long. He’s perceptive, tuned into other people’s needs on a level I likely never will be. It’s not even been a day since we arrived here and he’s already got it mostly figured out.

His knowing that I’m reliving certain experiences still differs from his knowing the exact content of my memories. That’s a truth I will continue to shield him from for as long as possible. He doesn’t need to see what I do.

Each time the memory surfaces, it grows; new information or details are added, but that same overwhelming loss of control is how it always ends. That’s the part I can never truly escape from, but I have at least learned to wake myself up before I get that far. When it woke me earlier, my heart was pounding and sweat had soaked into the sheets, but what terrified me the most was the sight of my spark webbing across my skin. Faron was sleeping right beside me. All it needed was one stray arc, one emotion too strong, and I could have…

Leaving him to sleep in peace was my only choice. Silently, I slipped from the bed and pulled on the shorts I was wearing last night before tiptoeing outside into the cool night air.

I haven’t been to the lodge since I was a kid, but it’s as peaceful as I remember it to have been. The cicadas and occasional owls provide a tranquil lullaby as I work to calm my spark and ground myself.

Faron’s warm skin presses up against mine as he leans into me. “Do you wanna tell me about it? Maybe it’ll help?” His voice is a gentle whisper and I shake my head, no, but my mind is already re-running the memory.

The early dawn light filters in through the open window of my home, casting just enough light for me to make out the different golden tones in Fjolnir’s hair. He fell asleep between my legs, his head on my chest and his hands alongside my ribs, cradling my core as if he could protect it even in his dreams. My fingers weave into his longer strands, working out the tangles, his eyelids flutter but he doesn’t wake. He is peaceful where he is, and I have never experienced a more perfect moment than this.

A sharp knock at the door startles us both. Instinctively, my hands tighten around his shoulders. Fjolnir’s eyes snap open, his head tilting to seek me out. No one ever visits me, much less knocks first to announce their presence. When Fjolnir pushes himself up on his elbows, I reluctantly loosen my hold. Leaning in, he brushes a barely-there kiss against my lips, and the beads at the end of his braids rock forward, slapping against my shoulder. His beautiful blue eyes search mine, but I don’t know what he’s looking for.

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