7 Things He'll Never Tell You by Kevin Leman

Author:Kevin Leman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
ISBN: 9781414327921
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Published: 2010-11-26T16:00:00+00:00

CHILDREN ARE AN EXTENSION OF THEIR MOTHER.

I tell this story at marriage seminars, and it always gets an Ahh from the ladies. When my daughter received flowers and knew they came from a Leman, she immediately assumed they had to be from her mother. “But Dad, when I found out they were from you, that was even better!”

“Ahh . . .” the ladies in the audience always say.

“Did you hear that ahh in the audience?” I ask the men.

There are grins and chuckles from the male population.

“Well,” I say, “each woman is dying to give you that ahh. Whenever you do sweet, manly, sensitive, gentle, loving things for your daughter and show that side of your nature to her, you are also doing those things for your wife. Did you know that?”

And the lightbulb goes on in the guys’ brains.

A woman lives by this adage: “If you love me, you will love the people dearest to me and treat them well.”

When a father shows that kind of love and attention to his daughter, you think, Wow! I am so lucky to have married that man! Boy, did I choose right! All of a sudden, you are feeling more romantically inclined toward that man.

But this is not so for the man. For a man, children are a separate entity. He doesn’t emotionally connect them to the mother. In a very real sense, because he identifies more with things, he sees them as things (no offense to the children) that compete with him for your attention. And boy, do they compete! Children are hedonistic little suckers who will take all the time and attention you can give them . . . and then some.

It’s no wonder they drain you of energy and leave you too exhausted to take care of the big boy in your life, the hedonistic big sucker who, from time to time, also needs all your time and attention and then some.

“Dr. Leman,” you’re saying disgustedly, “are you saying I should placate my husband when he acts like a child? I mean, he’s a grownup, for Pete’s sake, and a father now. Shouldn’t he act like it?”

Let me counter by asking you, “Do you placate your children at every turn?”

I hope not, because they are prone to think only of themselves. If you placate them at every turn, they’ll become unionized and really work their advantage.

Husbands can be the same way.

The main point I’m trying to make here is that you need to realize that the role your children play in your husband’s life is different from the role they play in your life. Until you do, you’ll be making your husband’s jealousy—or potential jealousy—worse.

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