Your Man is Wonderful by Noelle C. Nelson Ph.D

Author:Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2009-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

A wonderful man cares more about making your dreams come true than he does about whatever sacrifices he has to make.

A WONDERFUL MAN supports your dreams and desires not because he has to, but because he wants to. And the more you appreciate his support, the more likely he is to want to keep on giving it to you. It’s just plain old common sense, and yet so often, we fail to appreciate that support. We find fault with how our mate supports us, or how much, or how little, or when he does so, instead of simply appreciating what is being offered when it is being offered. We ignore or don’t even see many of the ways in which our mates are being supportive, and so we don’t appreciate, we don’t give thanks, we aren’t grateful.

And if anything you focus on grows, the opposite is just as true: whatever you don’t focus on dies. Your mate’s encouragement, his cheerleading, his sacrifices, if left unnoticed and unappreciated, will dwindle, diminish, and eventually cease entirely.

How easy it would have been for May to be unaware of the support her husband offered by letting her make her “huge mess” in the living room. She could have just thought, “Well, heck, it’s my living room too!” and not even noticed the support implicit in her husband’s putting up with the “mess.” When he bought her books on decorating, May wisely saw her husband’s efforts as encouraging her efforts, whereas another woman might have thought, “So he thinks I can’t do it on my own. He thinks I’m too stupid to figure it out,” and felt disrespected rather than supported.

When Nancy’s husband says, “Come on, let’s go,” because he feels the two of them need a break, Nancy says, “Great!” and off they go, guidebook in hand. Nancy does not say, as many women might, “What do you mean, you haven’t made a reservation? What if we don’t find a nice place? Where are we going to have dinner?” She doesn’t devalue his support by complaining about having to find a lower hotel rate. She doesn’t say to herself, “He can’t even earn enough to afford a normal room rate. What a loser I married.” Instead, she appreciates his effort for what it is: giving her a break, a rest—in a word, support.

Melia speaks lovingly and appreciatively of her husband’s willingness to let his dream car, a 528i BMW, be repossessed so that she could recuperate at home. How different her attitude is from that of a woman who might instead blame her husband for not getting a better job, not earning more income, which would allow him to maintain their previous lifestyle! So too does Grace praise her husband’s willingness to take the bus to work so that she could have the use of their one car.

Too often we simply rag on our man to make more money, or call him a loser for not doing better. We compare him to other men in a way that makes him come out on the bottom.

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