Without Shame by Barbara Theodosiou

Author:Barbara Theodosiou
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing
Published: 2020-02-24T16:00:00+00:00

Barbara Contract

TAM Facebook post

I found a contract that I wrote and me and my son Daniel signed on February 8th, 2011, the day I took him back home to help him with his recovery.

My contract with my son:

Dear Daniel,

I think by now you know that I love you beyond words and that I am willing to support you to maintain a drug-free lifestyle. I pray you will have a responsible life filled with love, honor, and blessings. Therefore, I can no longer be a part of your life as a drug addict.

Today we start on a clean slate. As of today, you will be coming to my home. I will do everything to put your recovery first. I hope you do too. I am willing to provide you with outpatient therapy and an individual therapist and a psychiatrist. On your part, you have agreed to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. I believe in your ability to change. I also believe that you are not unique and, in fact, that it is very hard for you to be drug free. NO MORE EXCUSES. As we discussed, if you have a craving, you will tell me FIRST before you use. That will give us a few options (e.g., going to the hospital, attending a meeting, calling your sponsor, etc.). However, YOU WILL NOT USE or all bets are off. This is not a threat. I firmly believe that YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT CONTROL DRUGS. As you always say, one is never enough and 1000 is never too many.

The plan is very simple: if you use drugs you will be asked to leave my home. I will not have any contact with you until you have 30 days clean. This means you may have to get yourself into detox, a treatment center, or a halfway house that provides the structure you might need. I will provide the first three months of rent and food for you if you have the manager call me and tell me you are actively working a Twelve Step program, going to meetings, and you have a sponsor. However, if you get kicked out of the halfway house because you use, you will be on your own.

Leaving you on the street is the last thing I have ever wanted to do. It is the hardest thing in the world for me, and you too! However, I am not doing this to punish you. I am doing this in the most loving spirit. I cannot go on watching you die in front of me. YOU ARE NOT UNIQUE. You will have to work very hard to save yourself. I cannot do it for you, or love you into recovery. If I could, you would be 100% sober.

I pray we can work together, I pray it never comes to this. YOU, ONCE AGAIN, HAVE A CLEAN SLATE.

I love you with all my heart,

Mom

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