When We Were Five by Derek Gray

Author:Derek Gray [Derek Gray]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gatekeeper Press
Published: 2016-12-07T00:00:00+00:00

10

Grasping at the Final Straw

I knew I wasn’t going to let life perpetually wear me down. I wasn’t going to succumb like those who had succumbed before me. I saw life swallow Dad and Josh, and even take the soul of their mother. Grandpa John stood no chance against a fire, trading his corpse for his wife’s. Jeff’s ninety mile an hour fastball, the one that used to bludgeon my hand, now couldn’t even dent whipped cream. And Mom’s brain was so ravaged from all the prescription drugs she had problems spelling her own name.

But I also knew I owed it to Martha and Alexa to stay the course. Being a good husband and a good father was great, but it didn’t pay the bills. And any thought of buying a house any time soon was just a fantasy. With Martha now diabetic, and Alexa someday going to college, it didn’t take the financial consultant in me to figure out that I was vulnerable.

Each birthday that came around reminded me of what I had not accomplished. All my best friends were rising fast. Dave was riding high in his financial career, and I knew he had aspirations that matched his father’s. Lou had recently graduated U.N.L.V. with a degree in hotel management, and was running an upscale restaurant in Beverly Hills. Ever the go-getter, Tim had taken a high ranking job with the government, and Gino had just enlisted in the Navy, chasing his dream of becoming a pilot. Even Ron was still busy following his dream of becoming an actor, getting a recurring role on a soap opera. I was just busy turning thirty-five.

Through all of my job struggles, my mother remained my biggest fan, and constantly reminded me to look at what I had, not what I didn’t have. As always, Mom never forgot a birthday;

June 12, 1998

My darling son Derek,

I can’t believe you are thirty-five years old. You still have your whole life ahead of you and I hope and pray it is all happy and joyful. Believe it or not, you’re way ahead of most people your age. You have a career, a lovely wife, and a beautiful daughter. You also have a mother and brother and sister who love you very much. All you need to do is grow up emotionally and forgive yourself and everyone else.

I am so happy you are taking good care of yourself with the gym. I’m with you all the way!

All my love,

Mother

While Mom’s vulnerabilities had her looking like an accident waiting to happen, she somehow managed to avoid ever being hit by a bullet. She was the old lady walking across the street, oblivious to the busy traffic around her, and inexplicably always made it to the other side. But as with everything, it was just a matter of time.

With Thanksgiving over, and Christmas just around the corner, Mom called me to come over to the house. That alone heightened my suspicions, but I tried not to dwell on the negative.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.