What, Why, How by Bhante Gunaratana

Author:Bhante Gunaratana
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Wisdom Publications

AVOID BEING ABUSED

How do I forgive someone who has taken advantage of me? If I don’t shut him out he will continue to take advantage of me. How do I practice metta for him?

Metta practitioners cannot be simple and naive. They also must use patient, tactful, and mindful ways to deal with difficult situations. Simply surrendering to abuse is not metta practice. Practitioners also must be tough at times to avoid being abused.

RESISTANCE TO METTA

I find it very hard to practice metta. I think about the people I hate. I say the words, but they are not sincere. Do you have any suggestions?

This is a very important point. We have to make ourselves very sincere to practice metta. Once I was invited to lead a retreat in Poland. The person who telephoned me asked about what I taught. She finally asked, “Do you teach metta meditation?” I said yes. Then she said, “I hate metta!” So, what was I supposed to do? I went there and led a ten-day metta retreat. At the end, she thanked me for taking the time to teach metta.

We keep repeating the metta phrases even if we don’t feel like doing it. If you keep repeating thoughts of loving-friendliness again and again, these words will settle into your mind. And perhaps one day you may feel how wonderful it is.

Metta is a very natural state of mind that all of us have. But because of our conditioning, it is deeply suppressed. We sometimes don’t even know that the possibility is within us. So we have to dig it out with some difficulty.

Until we feel it, we need patience, maturity, mindfulness, determination, commitment — all of these. Above all, we need courage to dig into our own mental states. Then it will not be that difficult. Anything at the beginning is difficult. Think about these words, and even if you have difficulty, don’t give up. First, overcome that barrier. If you have anger in you, deal with that. And then practicing metta becomes very easy.

That way, we begin to feel for ourselves how wonderful our life would be if we were free from affliction, if we were happy. Also, when we recite these words our brain generates hormones that make us very calm, relaxed, and peaceful. We feel calmness, we feel relaxation, we feel peace within ourselves.

We can consider how wonderful it would be if everyone was peaceful and happy. So, first we recite metta phrases with sincerity and honesty and we think how wonderful the world would be. We must try to find some good in the person toward whom we feel hatred or dislike. Nobody is totally bad. Nobody is totally good. Once we find some good quality in the person, we should focus on it, and that will help us to practice metta toward that person.

There are many benefits to metta!

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.