What We Could Never Be by Lindsay Roseman

Author:Lindsay Roseman [Roseman, Lindsay]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-05-06T22:00:00+00:00

Part 20- Modern Day

I knew what I was doing was wrong. Pining over an engaged woman. I felt an immense amount of guilt in the moments where I was alone, knowing this truly wasn't who I was as a person. If it was anyone else in the world I wouldn't be the...other woman.

I was feeling consumed with guilt. I was having trouble concentrating, when I would be doing anything I would just get lost in thought.

But in the moments that I was getting together with Brianna, I got lost in her.

For the next few weeks after I went to her apartment we started sneaking around. Whether that was working out together after work in the gym and stealing sneaky kisses, to me going to her apartment when Sydney wasn't there and us just talking- and making out with such passion I felt like we we would rip each other's clothes off any second.

But we didn't. We hadn't slept together. We hadn't been gone past kissing. I think we were afraid. And knew that if that happened, it would truly cross a line that we weren't sure we were ready for yet.

Questions of it possibly just being lust crept into my head, but I knew it wasn't. It wasn't all about the passion and when would we fuck. Being with Brianna felt like coming back home. She was always my safe haven. The person I felt the most comfortable with in the entire world.

We had unblocked each other's numbers. The few and far between times we texted, I got butterflies. I didn't even have her number saved, but knowing Brianna was in my messages again gave me a sense of comfort I hadn't had in a while.

The last Friday of September I felt my phone vibrate when I was at lunch with Casey. I looked down as I took a bite of my salad.

Brianna. It read, "I know this may seem crazy. But do you want to stay at a hotel tonight? I figured some alone time would be nice. Sydney is staying at her parents until Sunday."

A hotel? I felt my face get hot.

"Whoa." Casey laughed, "Your eyes just got so wide at whatever text you got."

"It was Savannah." I lied, "She texted me a crazy sex story."

Casey laughed even more, "I've got some of those too if you ever want to hear them."

"Why don't you tell me one now." I chuckled, "Make lunch more entertaining."

As Casey told me a story about a crazy night she had with her fiancé, I sneakily texted Brianna, "I'm in."

I told Savannah I was staying over Casey's. I hadn't told her about Brianna yet. I just wasn't ready to. I think because of how ashamed I was with myself.

Brianna sent me the address of the hotel. It was a nice one with suites about 20 minutes away. She said she was already at the room, and she told the front desk attendants I would be arriving later.

I was shaking on my drive there with anxiety.

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