What to Expect the Toddler Years by unknow

What to Expect the Toddler Years by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Reference.Parenting
ISBN: 9780761152149
Goodreads: 839116
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
Published: 1994-01-11T10:00:00+00:00


WHAT IT’S IMPORTANT TO KNOW: Communicating With Your Child

Articles and books have been written about it. Talk shows address it. Parenting classes are devoted to it. And yet, with all the information available on the importance of parent–child communication, the fact is that parents in America spend far too little time in conversation with their kids—an amazing average of just a few minutes a day, some studies show.

How can your family buck the statistics and make conversation an important part of your lives?

Start early. Even children who are barely verbal can participate in conversation, so it isn’t too early to begin having two- (or three-) way talks in your family. Building solid communication skills now will lay the groundwork for continuing dialogue as your child grows, and may ultimately make it easier for him or her to talk about sensitive subjects (friends, cheating, bullying, dating, sex, and alcohol and other drugs).

Set aside a special time for talk. Though it’s valuable to strike up a conversation with your toddler at any time—when you’re pushing the stroller or the swing, when you’re making dinner, when you’re driving to day care, when you’re getting ready for work—such conversation isn’t enough. Good communication requires a solid stretch of unbroken time. Mealtime generally provides such a stretch, but only if you ban television, newspapers, telephone calls, and other distractions. Even if you don’t eat with your toddler, try to sit down for some conversation. A talk, particularly about the day’s events, can also be a valuable part of your toddler’s bedtime ritual. Make time, too, if you can, for a “good morning” chat (your toddler’s bed or yours) before each day begins.

When your toddler wants to talk, listen. To a toddler who has no concept of time, being put off with a vague promise of “later” can be enormously frustrating. Not only is “later” a lifetime away, but by the time it rolls around, your toddler is likely to have forgotten that painstakingly formulated thought he or she had been bursting to share. Until your child learns patience and develops the ability to put thoughts on hold (around the age of four), try to avoid keeping him or her waiting for your ear. There will be times when waiting will be unavoidable—as when you’re discussing a computer problem with the repair person or you’re on an important phone call. Just make certain your toddler’s next in line for your attention when you’re done. A child who is regularly put off often begins to feel, “No one really wants to hear what I have to say, so I just won’t say anything. I’ll keep it to myself.”

Make contact when communicating. Sometimes—when you’re driving the car, pushing a stroller across a busy street, dicing carrots with a sharp knife—an ear is all you can lend your toddler. But whenever possible, try to establish an additional avenue of contact (eye-to-eye, hand-to-hand, for example) when you’re talking and when you’re listening, when you’re discussing and when you’re disciplining. This connection will communicate love and respect along with the words.



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