West of Eden by Jean Stein

Author:Jean Stein
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2016-02-08T16:00:00+00:00

IV

JENNIFER JONES

1400 Tower Grove Road, Beverly Hills

22400 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu

22368 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu

BOB WALKER: I have really lovely memories of my life as a child. In spite of all that went on, I cannot see how it could’ve been any better. That’s me. I know that I am the sum of everything that’s happened over the years, but I don’t dwell on any of that. I feel very blessed. I don’t think about my past very much, and I don’t even think of myself that much, except in the feeling of being something planted and rooted in the earth, and in heaven.

I wish my brother, Michael, were here for you to meet. He was quite an interesting character. He carried enough darkness for the two of us. All through life he carried the dark stuff about Mom, and the only things I’m carrying now about Mom are the beautiful moments of her that I remember. Michael and our half sister, Mary Jennifer, probably had more troubles than I did—their ways of processing troubles were different from mine. It’s just the luck of the draw that I’ve been blessed with the ability to allow my troubles to dissolve. I don’t carry them with me. Have you heard that story about the two monks? Two monks come to the river, and they’ve sworn the highest vow that they won’t touch women, and they aren’t even supposed to look their way or entertain any thoughts about women whatsoever. So they’re absolutely chaste. But they come to a river and this young lady is trying to get across, and she’s got a jug of water, or some kind of burden. Well, one of the monks notices her predicament and picks her up immediately in his arms and puts her on the other side. The other monk is absolutely aghast but finally struggles across the stream and catches up to the other monk, who by now is far along, and says, “Tom,” or whatever, “what happened? You know that we’ve taken these vows never to touch, much less look at a woman and never to speak to one, and what have you done?” And Tom says, “What are you talking about? I left her behind an hour ago—you’re still carrying her. You’re still thinking about her.” Tom knew this person needed help, and he did it without a thought, and he didn’t carry it with him. He kept going, and he was able to carry on with his life. I’m like Tom. So when something bad happens, I never carry it with me. Like water hitting an electric stove, it just instantly turns to steam. I carry blithely on. But as Ram Dass once said, you know, if you think you’re enlightened, go spend a weekend with your parents.

One memory I go back to a lot is when I was living up Trancas Canyon in the seventies with Ellie, my wife in those days. We were living in the bushes, on a stream, stark naked, like savages.

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