Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky Connie Burk

Author:Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, Connie Burk [Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, Connie Burk]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Self-Help, Personal Growth, General
ISBN: 9781605095387
Google: mX8O7t9VJoIC
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Published: 2009-05-07T22:00:00+00:00

“I can’t stop thinking about all those available parking spaces bnck on West Eighty-jifth Street.”

Many of us who work in helping professions are used to operating at a sprint, so coming into the present moment may feel like a powerful contradiction. Nevertheless, it is difficult to appreciate our lives when we are not paying attention to them in a conscious way. As one child support worker told me, “I feel like I’ve missed out on my whole life.”

There are innumerable ways to return to stillness, including such centering acts as breathing, meditation, mindful movement, and prayer. Any of these can be a saving grace, and they are all free and portable. It is worth noting, however, that the challenges of getting to a place where we can come into the present moment and experience inner stillness may be considerable. The difficulties aren’t only internal but external. Modern culture, in its many manifestations around the globe, has rejected many of the ancient traditions that value coming into the present moment. The consumerist ethos that took such a firm hold in the 20th century urges us to strive for more (money, clothes, cars, houses, objects). As we move deeper into the information age, the media industry wants us to feel left out if we’re not literally plugged into the latest music, movie, commercial, or game. With all these pressures, it’s no wonder that few of us find time to connect with ourselves.

Being present is real work. Meditation and yoga are referred to as practices for a reason—they require repetition and commitment to a process. In one workshop, Dr. Liu Dong said of qigong, “The first half-hour or so of any practice session is usually just about pain.” Similarly, a friend told me about his visit to a Burmese monastery where he had hoped to study for three weeks. Hearing of this proposed time frame, a monk said, “It won’t be worth it for you. Generally the first five months here are full of suffering, and after that you begin to reap the benefits.”

One step, one foot in front of the other: That’s how we’re going to do it.

Community activist in New Orleans, post–Hurricane Katrina

Still, while this practice is not for the faint of heart, it should not be seen as inaccessible. You are fully capable of becoming present. Sometimes it is very hard and sometimes it is very simple, but you must be willing to introduce some new habits as a counterpoint to your old familiar ways. For example, during a recent vacation with my family, I was struck by how entrenched my patterns of thinking were. I was thousands of miles away from the 11 children who attend school at my home each day and all my other at-home responsibilities, but it took nothing for me to transfer my sense of worry and alertness to conditions on the beach. Was it low tide or high tide? Would those clouds eventually produce rain? How were the surfing conditions? It was absurd, as none of these things really mattered at all.

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