Three Things Matter Most by Brett Atlas

Author:Brett Atlas
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Addicus Books
Published: 2021-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.

—WAYNE DYER,

AMERICAN AUTHOR AND SPEAKER

Being wrong is already a difficult thing for many people to concede, even when the facts are against them. After all, many accepted facts have been proven incorrect over time. Consider, then, those disputes where there are no established facts for either side of the argument. Generally, these disagreements concern a person’s beliefs or preferences for which there is no correct answer. And yet, oftentimes they become heated and personal nonetheless.

Did God create man, or did man create God? Which religion does God want us to practice? Are there multiple gods? Is there a god at all? What is the most important painting in the Uffizi? Was Elvis Presley more influential than the Beatles? Was Michael Jordan a greater basketball player than LeBron James? You might feel very confident answering one or more of these questions, and quite capable of defending your reasoning. Unfortunately, there is no way to prove whether you are right or wrong.

Topics such as these are endlessly debated, but never fully settled. Each of us is on our own journey and our thinking will hopefully continue to evolve. We don’t all see things the same way, and that’s a very good thing. After all, we can’t learn much if we spend all our time with people who think exactly like us. If we want to have more meaningful relationships in our lives, we need to welcome different perspectives and viewpoints.

When we challenge or minimize someone’s beliefs or preferences, we not only offend them but we make ourselves look foolish and small. Sometimes we do this without even realizing it, by making sweeping generalizations. Consider the No True Scotsman fallacy, for example. As Kathryn Schulz explains it, “Let’s say you believe that no Scotsman puts sugar in his porridge. I protest that my uncle, Angus McGregor of Glasgow, puts sugar in his porridge every day. ‘Aye,’ you reply, ‘but no true Scotsman puts sugar in his porridge.’” This illustrates the danger of seeing the world only in black and white, when there are many shades of gray.

You may have a peculiar taste in porridge or irrational ideas about Scotsmen. Either way, you’ve just insulted my uncle Angus and irritated me with no benefit to yourself. Rather than waste our time, aggravate ourselves, and endanger our relationships, we can simply make room for another person’s views. There have always been multiple political parties, religions, and genres of art. Keep that in mind the next time you’re prepared to insult someone for seeing the world a little differently. By being respectful and tolerant of others, we can all order different entrees and still enjoy our dinner together at the same table.

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