Thousand Star Hotel by Bao Phi

Author:Bao Phi
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Coffee House Press
Published: 2017-04-22T00:00:00+00:00

What if this is the best we can be?

When we realize phrases like “Be who you were meant to be”

make no sense at all.

Look into a burnt-out lightbulb,

see that something that should lead to something else

is broken.

Document

I.

Let’s say the smart white girl from the wealthy family that you always thought was so pretty ends up being part of your study group, and she comes to your house with the others to work on the final project. She wrinkles her nose and asks if there are roaches, and instead of hating her you hate your mom and dad. She’ll never love you, but that’s preferable to their love, which you’ve grown to need a translator for. They taught you you were ugly long before this white girl caught your eye. They are nowhere near to hear her English; they’re off at one of their two or three jobs. You’ve learned about the Black Panthers in a gym room closet, you’ve learned about the AIM patrols in your neighborhood, but you don’t know how it all connects to crushes balanced atop nests of roaches. Don’t know what to do with these feelings but tuck it all away and hope it doesn’t crawl out like it will at sudden moments for the rest of your life. Can’t seem to figure out what all of that has to do with your war-torn family and this beautiful woman who hates the house you’re raised in, its scuttling denizens. Whether or not they’re real, she imagines you infesting this place.

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