The Vanquish Vendetta (The Illmoor Chronicles Book 5) by David Lee Stone

Author:David Lee Stone [Stone, David Lee]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781480461611
Publisher: Open Road Media Teen & Tween
Published: 2014-07-08T04:00:00+00:00

Thirteen

“LICE! EUGH! WHO’S GIVEN me head lice?”

Brigadier Lanslide shook his comb free of the mites and glared around the room.

“Don’t look at me, sir,” said Colonel Reish. “The ruddy things are crawling all over my comb, too. Maybe one of the privates brought us some dirty washing water or something?”

“Dirty is right,” said the brigadier, momentarily disgusted by the contents of his own head. “Never thought I’d live to see the day when anything got into my lovely locks.”

The other officer looked at him; it was quite incredible to find lice on a bald man.

“It’s possible they came from your chest hair, sir,” Colonel Reish advised. “I mean, you do hear of such creatures migrating north for the winter.”

“What, you mean they’re chest lice? Oh, surely there’s no such thing!”

“Excuse me, sirs, but I couldn’t help overhearing.”

The two officers turned as Senior Guard Shably marched into the room carrying a pair of scissors and a bowl of what looked like steaming water.

“There has been a minor outbreak of lice in the palace this week. I’ve already treated some of the men; I’d be only too pleased to help …”

“What sort of treatment?” asked the colonel, apparently horrified at the sight of water.

Shably smiled.

“I’m really glad you asked, sirs. This treatment basically requires me to cover a tiny section of your hair with my special solution. Then, all the lice hurry to the section of hair containing the solution, as it contains certain, er, properties that the little demons cannot resist, and I cut off the offending section of hair, ending the lice problem indefinitely.”

Brigadier Lanslide marched over to Shably and peered into the bowl.

“Looks like hot, soapy water to me,” he said.

“Aye, that it is, sir,” Shably conceded. “But, to the lice, it’s like a … er … acid, sir.”

Night had already stretched its icy fingers over Dullitch by the time a small rowing boat appeared at the harbor gates. Fortunately, the watchtowers were being manned by imbeciles, so Obegarde had no trouble maneuvering the little boat beneath them. Keeping close to the outside of the city walls, he drew toward the bank, where a cart was waiting.

Nazz jumped down from his seat and hurried into the water to help the vampire haul in the boat.

“Got a pair of worthy passengers for you, sir,” he said, in a derisory tone.

“Very kind of you,” said Obegarde, with equally false aplomb. “Do hope I can speed them into the city as fast as you brought them here!”

“I have no doubt that you will.”

The boat settled, Nazz turned to face his two companions and beckoned them forward. Victor and Mifkindle both hurried into the boat.

“Good luck,” the ogre whispered, before hurrying back to his cart and turning it toward the city’s North Gate.

“Welcome to Dullitch,” Obegarde said, shaking each of the assassins firmly by the hand. “I’m Jareth Obegarde, your boatman for this evening: I’m taking you to meet with Effigy Spatula.”

“That’s a b-b-big relief,” said Mifkindle.

“Yeah,” added Victor. “We’re not used to all this cloak and dagger stuff.

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