The Tremendous Baron Time Machine by Eric Bower

Author:Eric Bower
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Publisher: Amberjack Publishing
Published: 2019-01-21T16:00:00+00:00

I REALLY HATE NOT EXISTING

After my father dropped off my thoroughly annoyed mother back in the present, he, Rose, and I began to flip through all of the Baron books in search of fuzzy moving letters, so that we could see where Werbert had gone next. P had been clever enough to bring several copies of the Baron books with him, which meant all three of us could constantly be flipping through them to check for changes. We figured that three sets of eyes would give us a better chance of spotting a change just as it was occur-ring—it was of the utmost importance that we catch Werbert before he could finish altering or erasing any more of our history. Since we were clearly running out of time, we would have to be very quick and very smart to stay one step ahead—er, behind?—Werbert.

“Ouch,” I cried, having given myself a paper cut for the fourth page in a row while flipping through my copy of The Idiotic Imbecilities of the Ridiculous Baron Family. Coincidentally, the W. B. on the cover of that book had just given himself a paper cut as well, though I must say I was weeping in a much more brave and tough manner than he was—there was barely even any mucus running out of my nose as I cried.

We were searching intently for a good five or ten minutes, our eyes scanning every inch of the pages, before Rose finally spotted a slowly changing sentence in her copy of The Underwater Bungles of the Ridiculous Baron Family.

“He’s in the submarine!” Rose cried. “He traveled back in time to when we were taking the long submarine ride to that island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean! We need to get there right away!”

“To the time machine!” P declared.

“Oh no,” I muttered quietly.

The submarine adventure. Of all the places for Werbert to go . . .

I must admit that I’ve enjoyed most of my family’s adventures, even the really intense and frightening ones that almost cost me my life, which, come to think of it, has been most of them. But I didn’t enjoy the time that we spent in the submarine my father invented. In fact, it was one of the most miserable experiences of my life. It was cramped in that cursed submarine, it was boring, we eventually ran out of food, the view was very repetitive, and there was a smelly monkey living in there who made it his life’s mission to make certain that I was as unhappy and uncomfortable during that submarine trip as humanly possible. In the end, that monkey had actually saved my life, but that didn’t change the fact that he spent over six weeks torturing me in an enclosed underwater ship. Lousy, stupid, lifesaving monkey . . .

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