The (Totally Not) Guaranteed Guide to Friends, Foes & Faux Friends by Megan McCafferty

Author:Megan McCafferty
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Juvenile Fiction / Family / Siblings, Juvenile Fiction / Girls & Women, Juvenile Fiction / Social Issues / Adolescence
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Published: 2014-09-22T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

I was so relieved when my sister took the spotlight. If they focused on her, they couldn’t make fun of me.

“I heard you got the five-foot-four spot in The Alignment,” said Bethany to Bridget.

Bethany was referring to The Famous Pineville Junior High Arrow Pointing Toward Awesomeness Alignment. It’s been the CHEER TEAM!!! signature formation since my sister’s days as captain. Personally, I don’t see what’s so amazing about arranging yourselves according to height, but I’ve been told that’s because I’m not a CHEER!!! aficionado and therefore unqualified to appreciate a legendary alignment when I see one.

“Yep!” Bridget squeaked.

“And you must have the other five-foot-four spot,” said Bethany to Dori.

“Yep!” squeaked Dori.

Bridget and Dori were seriously starstruck. The Chibi Girls have nothing on my sister. Especially when she started talking CHEER TEAM!!! business.

“I was the five-foot-four spot back in the day.…”

“YEP!” squeaked Dori and Bridget.

Bridget’s an only child, and Dori’s the only girl in her family. Growing up, Bethany was like a big sister to all of us. And by that, I mean she was way too busy being impossibly popular and pretty and perfect to pay any attention to three elementary-school kids.

The more she ignored us, the more glamorous we imagined her life to be. We’d act out scenes from her life with our dolls. Bethany was the closest thing to real-life Barbie we’d ever seen.

“Ooh, Ken!” Bridget would make Barbie-as-Bethany say. “I’d love to go for a ride in your convertible!”

“Ooh, Prince Charming!” Dori would make Barbie-as-Bethany say. “I’d love to go to prom with you!”

Bridget and Dori got annoyed whenever I didn’t stick to their fantasy script.

“Ooh, G.I. Joe!” I’d make Barbie-as-Bethany say. “I’d love to fight terrorists and save the world with you!”

Anyway, Bridget and Dori have admired my sister since the 3ZNUF days. But I didn’t expect Bethany to make an equally glamorous impression on Manda and Sara.

“Omigod! That’s your sister?” Sara asked.

I couldn’t blame Sara for her disbelief.

Me: oversize War T-shirt, jeans, sneakers.

Bethany: formfitting cashmere sweater, miniskirt, knee-high boots.

Me: brown hair slipping out of a lazy ponytail.

Bethany: golden hair flowing in perfect waves.

Me: straight up and down.

Bethany: curves in all the right places.

“She’s totally gorgeous,” observed Manda. “She looks nothing like you.”

Gee, thanks for the reminder.

Me: my ordinary face.

Bethany: her extraordinary face.

Only Hope was unmoved by my sister’s arrival.

“Bethany, dear,” interrupted Gladdie, “your gentleman friend requires your attention.”

All heads turned toward Bethany’s “gentleman friend.” We hadn’t even noticed he was there until Gladdie spoke up. He was an unnoticeable kind of guy—with a forgettable face and average build. Even his gray hoodie and jeans blended in with the wall he was standing in front of.

“Um, hi,” he said.

Bethany has brought home dozens of boys over the years, but none of them resembled this guy. She usually goes for jocks. And jerks. Guys with big muscles and even bigger attitudes. This “gentleman friend” was shy and looked like he hit the books, not the gym.

“This is our neighbor Rodney,” Bethany said to the group.

“Rodger,” said Rodger-not-Rodney.

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