The Overparenting Solution by George S. Glass & David Tabatsky

Author:George S. Glass & David Tabatsky
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Published: 2021-05-30T00:00:00+00:00

Free Play versus Organized Recreation

Although it may not always be the most athletic thing to witness, what’s better than watching a father and son play catch in the backyard or, even better, alone on the local diamond, pretending like they’re participating in a crucial World Series game? It’s heartwarming to watch a parent and child bond as something remarkably comforting and reassuring takes place for them during a simple game of catch. You throw a ball to someone else, wait a sec, and it comes back, every time. Or it pretty much does, if your dad has half an arm, which when you’re a kid, he certainly seems to.

In fact, for most young boys and girls, playing catch is like a perfect moving security blanket, with each toss representing something you can trust in the world. When you throw the ball, that treasured possession that you imagine you might never part with, you will get it back. The person you trust most in the world continues to win your love because he—or she—simply throws it back. That person is spending time with you, teaching you, showing you that he is not perfect, because he occasionally drops the ball or misthrows it, but with each toss and catch, you feel like an absolute winner, and that’s all that matters. As a parent, you also feel like a winner because you are doing something important with your child besides just teaching him how to play catch.

So, what happens to those moms and dads who end up overparenting courtside, on the ball field, from the audience, or at home in the backyard? How did they get to the point of harassing everyone in sight, simply because their child is so important—to them? Is it just the prospect of a college scholarship? Is it a sense that because they are so important, their child must be as well? For some parents, like the ones at the beginning of this chapter, this is all the rationale they need to push, push, push and let the chips fall where they will. But for many other parents, especially those who can afford college tuitions (and pay back loans), why are they pushing their kids so hard? Why are they cheering so loudly? Do they really think that their child is the only one on the field or in the musical? Is it the fact that they consider their child an extension of themselves, and, in some cases, that the child may be making up for the parent’s own imperfections?

Whether your daughter is a fledgling student athlete, actor, dancer, or chess player, she has unique reasons for participating in whatever activity she chooses. Or has she chosen? Some parents enroll their children in theater, music, or dance lessons—and sometimes all of them—without much thought for their child’s preferences. They view it simply as something their child should do to be cultured, well rounded, and a better candidate down the road for life, which also means acceptance at what ultimately may be a prestigious university.

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