The Night I Flunked My Field Trip #5 by Winkler Henry

Author:Winkler, Henry
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: PENGUIN group
Published: 2010-02-28T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 12

THE FIRST MATE SAW TO IT that everybody got to work right away. Frankie and Luke had to stand at the bow of the ship, looking for pirates. They didn’t see any of those, but they did see a New York City garbage barge going by. Luke said it smelled like pizza, which makes you wonder what he gets on his pizza. Orange peels and flies? Or maybe potato skins and candy wrappers?

Ashley and her new best friend Chelsea Soccer Camp had to lower buckets into the river to get water to swab the decks. A couple other kids had to polish all the brass on the ship. The first mate took four kids in a rowboat and they paddled over to the next dock to look for hides. Unfortunately, one of those kids was Heather Payne, who finally barfed up her lunch in the East River.

The captain told Collin and me to wait for him on the poop deck while he marched around shouting orders. You’re laughing, but it’s true. There is an actual place on a boat called the poop deck.

“I’m Collin Rich,” Mr. Perfect said to me.

“Hank Zipzer,” I said, trying to seem taller.

“I know. Ashley pointed you out. She said you’re a really cool guy.”

Wait a minute here. I was prepared to hate this guy. But he’s being nice. Real nice, in fact.

“Can you believe we’re standing on the poop deck?” he said.

“They probably call it that because during storms, the captains would get so scared they pooped their pants.”

Collin burst out laughing. “Ashley said you’re funny too,” he said, slapping me a high five.

“She’s right. So how’d you get to be captain’s assistant?”

“A guy named McKelty nominated me,” I said. “The class voted. You?”

“My teacher picked me. He said I was tough enough to take it, whatever that means.”

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. The captain was back. I gulped.

“This isn’t a party, you lazy slugs,” he snarled. “Follow me to my quarters, and shake a leg or you’ll feel my whip.”

I thought he was going a little overboard on the mean captain routine. If he was trying to show us that sea captains in the old days ruled with an iron hand, we got the picture. Maybe he’d lighten up now.

He headed below deck. Collin and I followed. I was looking forward to getting to know the captain away from all the others, when he didn’t have to act so mean. I couldn’t wait to get my special assignment. I wondered what it would be. What would a captain’s assistant get to do that nobody else got to do? Look at old maps and help chart our imaginary course? Look at the stars with a telescope? Or maybe just share a mutton chop at the captain’s table.

I have only four words to describe what happened next.

None of the above.

When we got below, the captain made us pull off his boots.

“Polish these until you can see your face in them,” he ordered. “And don’t look up until you’re done.

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