The Mommy Files by Jen Klein

Author:Jen Klein
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Adams Media, Inc.
Published: 2010-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 9

Sleep: The Elephant in the Room

(and It Isn’t Stuffed)

Sleep is a looming topic, sometimes discussed ad nauseam and sometimes ignored in hopes the issue will go away. It’s something underappreciated and usually underutilized in adults, and it’s something we’re constantly trying to get our babies to do more of. Thoughts about and plans for sleep can consume your life when your child is a baby.

Common Concerns

When you are not actually trying to get your baby to sleep, you’re probably wondering about a slew of sleep-related questions: How much sleep will the baby get this time, and will I get any sleep, too? Is he getting enough sleep? Is he sleeping too much? Why is it so hard to get him to sleep? Should I wake him up if he continues to sleep longer than I expected?

Sometimes—and this is psychically painful—you have the opportunity to sleep but can’t because you’re overtired and you’re worried about ever getting a full night’s sleep again. Round and round go the worries and the exhaustion, for weeks or even stretching into months.

As if that weren’t enough, you notice that questions about your child’s sleep habits are almost as common as asking what your baby’s name is, with a “That’s great!” if your answer meets the questioner’s approval or a litany of advice if it doesn’t. It’s almost as if the age at which your child sleeps through the night is somehow a report card on your parenting.

Babies Are Sleep Minimalists. Or Are They?

Most of the time, when you really add up the hours, the baby sleeps a lot, just in small increments. The only thing you do know is that the baby is getting far more sleep than you are, and that sleep is obviously of some quality if the baby’s ability to fuss and cry with great vigor is any indication.

SHE KNOWS SECRET: If you add up the hours, the baby sleeps quite a lot, but, it seems, never long enough for you to get that deep, restorative sleep that you need.

I think we all have ideas of how we’ll get our babies to sleep in the early days, but the truth is you use whatever method works. Rocking, swinging, front carriers, or stroller rides— the very first days are all about figuring this little creature out. Once a pattern emerges and is somewhat consistent, you can look at making a series of incremental changes that will move you and your baby toward her falling asleep in a way you deem preferable.

SHE KNOWS YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANY SLEEP Of course, all babies are different and each baby will vary in her habits from day to day, but as a rule newborns will need to eat every three hours at a minimum. And that, alas, includes in the middle of the night (expect a 2:00 A.M. and 5:00 A.M. feeding—yawn). Again, this is a generalization, but sometime between eight and twelve weeks, you can expect your baby to start bunching up feedings and sleep into something of a workable pattern.

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