The Lofty Perch: Poached Parody by P.C. Hatter & Stacy Bender

Author:P.C. Hatter & Stacy Bender [Hatter, P.C.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Byrnas Books
Published: 2021-07-04T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 19

Victoria Lane kept her feathery hands in the pockets of her white coat and kept her head aloof so she could peer down her lipstick covered beak at me. She sauntered over to the desk, struck a pose, and lit a cigarette.

“So you’re Anoraq the PI. I don’t think I’ll like you.”

“I’m heartbroken. Can this place get any better than a B movie set?”

“What?”

“Never mind. The old bird wants it back. The faster the better, so as not to cause a scandal.”

“But I thought—” She cut off her words, but the glimpse of confusion told me she knew more than she let on. If nothing more, Edmond Sayers told his wife everything.

The coolness returned, and she asked, “What on earth are you talking about?”

“The Brasher Doubloon. It’s worth a lot of money.”

“But you can’t sell it. That old thing is tied up in some legal mess. It’s worthless until the fat old hen kicks off. Though if I thought she would, I might have tried. No, I didn’t take that stupid coin, Mr. Anoraq.” She snubbed out her cigarette in one of the copper trays on the desk, tossed the stub into the trash can, and lit a new one.

“The two of you don’t like each other much. Are you willing to divorce Edmond?”

“For twenty-five grand. The hen’s so tight with her money she squeaks, and any gift comes with a price in blood.”

“Do you regret marrying Edmond?”

“Yes, I thought I was getting a home and comfort. What I got was a living hell. No thank you. Dealing with the optimistic creeps around this place is by far easier than bowing to Edmond’s mother. I’m not prepared to give up my soul. Not like that poor swan that works for her.”

“Julie Fellows?” I asked.

The bird nodded and pulled a piece of tobacco from her beak. “Yes, Publicly the old hen berates her, but privately she coddles the swan. The swan worships that emu. Something is very twisted in that family, and I don’t want to be anywhere near it when whatever it is blows.” She shuddered and sucked at her cigarette.

“Interesting.”

“Be careful, Anoraq. Lidia Hopkins-Sayers is an evil manipulative bird. Whatever she hired you to do, she’s got something else up her sleeve.”

“Would she murder someone to get what she wants.” That got a laugh out of the ostrich. “I’m serious, Mrs. Lane. Two people have already died in this case, and one is directly connected with that coin.”

She straightened and became serious as she again snubbed out her cigarette, threw the stub in the wastebasket, and lit a new one. “Does Deter know this?”

“I already told him. He wasn’t happy. Especially when he heard that I had to tell the cops about one of them. Do you know about a pronghorn by the name of Monel?”

“Monel is a friend of Mary’s, Deter’s wife. She’s a fool to deal with him.”

I cocked my head to the side. “How so?”

“Other than she’s married to Deter? Lidia Hopkins Sayers knows that pronghorn well.

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