The Light in the Dark_A Winter Journal by Horatio Clare

Author:Horatio Clare [Clare, Horatio]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Literary Criticism, European, English; Irish; Scottish; Welsh
ISBN: 9781783964055
Google: Bla3vQEACAAJ
Amazon: B07FKRV1YY
Goodreads: 40611015
Publisher: Elliott & Thompson
Published: 2018-06-15T04:04:15+00:00

27 JANUARY

A mist day, a moss day, a day of rain that never quite fell. In the woods Aubrey and his friend Alex hurled themselves up banks, conquered rocks, swung on branches, danced and dived down mud heaps. They are impervious to this drear grey shroud.

No birds moved and few called, only the moss and the fungi seemed alive, though there were green spears where the narcissi were rising and the first snowdrops came out yesterday. Where the beck torrents through rapids it made a scarf of mist which floated over that one spot, a spectre. Later, in a twilit instant, there came a rushing roar over the valley, the Buttress trees bowed and shook and clouds tore themselves apart, a pale sky promising stars behind them. A blackbird and a robin sang as the light failed. There was a wild flaring of pinks and oranges in flaying streamers of high cloud as the moon rose, waxing. Now there were two skies, one flying low and fast, small gigs and racing skiffs of cloud, while higher contrails crossed white paths and barely drifted. We have heard no owls for weeks but Rebecca saw one out the back, perched on the fence. There are mice around the water outflow in the garden; the tawny owl was in ambush, waiting.

In the moments when I am watching, recording or sharing these things with Aubrey or Rebecca, I am well. It is in the gaps between that the panic comes. Unable to do much beyond self-loathe, I dedicate myself to simple tasks. Brushing the carpet, taking out the recycling, hoovering, washing, drying, sorting and putting away clothes: for weeks I feel like a live-in domestic help, backing up Rebecca as she works.

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