The Joy Switch by Chris M. Coursey

Author:Chris M. Coursey [Coursey, Chris M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Published: 2021-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

WHAT IF I FAIL?

My friend Angie was preparing to graduate from school, but she had an upcoming test for one of her classes. This test was crucial for Angie to pass her class and graduate on time, but it was also very difficult. The pressure triggered a strong fear response in Angie.

Angie became increasingly worried. Fear over this test hindered Angie from staying relational. She wanted to run! Instead, Angie turned to sugary foods for comfort. Sleep was spotty at best. Angie lost all desire to go out with friends and do fun things to take her mind off the test. She felt like staying in bed and watching movies. Angie frequently shed tears and broke down over what seemed like minor irritations. All she could think about was failing her class and facing her parents.

Angie would later realize this important test reminded her of the time her parents divorced and she felt like she had to choose sides. This meant disappointing one of her parents. The pressure she felt at the time was excruciating. Though this happened years earlier, some of the unresolved pain, a “landmine,” was now activated. Thankfully, Angie reached out to an old counselor for help. This person helped Angie feel understood so she could see how her past was sneaking into her present. (Connection.) Angie made a list of the moments, things, and people she enjoyed, which calmed her mind. (Appreciation.) Angie would go on to pass her test and graduate with her friends.

We can “extend” the wick of our fuse by building relational joy and increasing our emotional capacity.2 We sustain the shelf life of our relational circuit when we disarm hidden landmines, the unprocessed pain memories, which cause big reactions and blow up our relationships. But we also need to acknowledge the truth: relational living is hard.

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