The Greatest Gifts Our Children Give to Us by Steven W. Vannoy

Author:Steven W. Vannoy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: A Fireside Book

It’s amazing to me how children tend to trust first while adults tend to doubt and blame first. My colleague, Pandora, related a perfect example from her teen years.

“When I was thirteen,” she told me, “my friend and I went to a movie by ourselves for the first time. Like many multiplex theaters, the exit emptied into an alley, and by chance, my friend’s dad met us coming around the back of the building toward the parking lot. He went ballistic. ‘I knew I couldn’t trust you,’ he yelled. ‘What were you doing back there?’

“He was so hung up on his doubting and judging that he refused to listen to an explanation,” Pandora continued. “I could see how my friend’s relationship with her parents changed from that point on. She knew they thought she wasn’t good or trustworthy, so that’s exactly the script she followed.”

What a difference it would make if we learned to trust first, to judge on intent rather than appearances.

I recently attended a meeting with three executives from a large telecommunications conglomerate.

“I want to make sure we launch the ’97 products with a more sophisticated campaign. . . .”

“I just heard from our Salt Lake City branch that they can’t keep up with the demand. . . .”

“I really need to beef up my department. Forget marketing. We have got to funnel every extra dollar into the work they’re doing. Their equipment is a joke. . . .”

My head swiveled from one speaker to another. They all had their own business and personal agendas, but it was easy to see that they needed one another’s input and support to accomplish their common overall objective. Talk filled the room for an hour and a half, but real listening only happened for about a minute and a half. Demand followed demand, and maybe every third or fourth statement vaguely related to something that had been said before—but usually only to dismiss it as irrelevant or unworthy.

One person mistrusted everybody else’s intention and was afraid his needs wouldn’t be considered. The next felt as if the other team members were jockeying for their own status or selfish needs. Another didn’t trust himself to speak his own mind and therefore looked for everyone else’s weakness so he could have the advantage.

It was a meeting that did more harm than good. It destroyed trust and self-esteem, and nothing was accomplished. These high-powered executives set out to accomplish a basic marketing plan, and instead they got pain and disrespect, and ended up several steps behind where they were when they entered the room.

As I was sitting there watching this disturbing and destructive meeting, I couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if every person there had made a commitment to actually listen to each other in an atmosphere of trust and understanding.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.