The Greatest Blogger In The World by Andrew Mcdonald

Author:Andrew Mcdonald
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
ISBN: 9781742730103
Publisher: Hardie Grant Egmont
Published: 2010-08-10T00:00:00+00:00

SCHOOL ARREST

I had never shared the classroom with a police officer before. Not until art class the day after the theft of the Unshorn Merino, anyway. Our art teacher Ms Bailey had explained to us that the police were examining the whole school for clues. Despite this, she was trying to continue our art class as usual.

Ms Bailey had put a big painting of King Henry VIII in the middle of the room. We were supposed to be drawing our own versions of the painting, but I couldn’t get any work done with Constable Flayson wandering around asking questions.

‘Did you like the Unshorn Merino? Do you know anyone who doesn’t like sheep? Why don’t you try some orange on Henry’s robe?’

Thankfully, Ms Bailey got fed up too. She told Constable Flayson that he was disrupting the ‘aura of the art room’ and would have to leave. With the police force gone from the room, I picked up my four-colour pen and got stuck into my version of Henry VIII. I called it King Henry VIII in Four-Colour Pen.

As I coloured, I thought about important blogging matters. Like, what had happened to my favourite blog commenter XY? He or she hadn’t said anything for a few days now, even though I’d posted four blog entries the day before. Perhaps I was losing my blogging touch? Citizen Sundress certainly thought so.

There was no-one in the Hollow Tree Full of Leaves at recess. I sat on a box of zoetropes. Where was everyone? I assumed Phattius was out somewhere selling donuts. I left the tree and found the Boots and Cardboard standing underneath the staff room windows.

‘What’s going on up there?’ I asked.

‘Go mind someone else’s beeswax,’ said the Boots.

Cardboard was more welcoming. ‘What’s up, cowboy?’ he said, obviously still determined to impress me with his lack of manners.

‘Cowboy? What’s the matter with you, Lance?’ said the Boots.

‘Are you trying to hear what’s going on in there?’ I asked, pointing up to the staff room windows. They were too high to see into.

‘Lance promised to show me a way to keep an eye on the staff room,’ said the Boots.

‘You want to spy on the staff room?’

I couldn’t believe it. Phattius was doing business without me, Cardboard was calling me Cowboy and now the Boots wanted to be a criminal. My world was spinning out of control.

‘But that would be so wrong,’ I said carefully.

‘You don’t understand what it’s like to be a teacher’s pet,’ the Boots said, stepping in front of me and looking quite stressed. Her eyes were brimming with fire and her lips were looking too dry to be kissable. ‘It’s not just about getting great marks and sucking up to the teachers and the FAPs and the school cleaners.’

I glanced at Cardboard. He shrugged.

‘You can’t be the best teacher’s pet if you don’t know how to play the game,’ the Boots went on. ‘It’s about information, and being one step ahead of everyone. Like, I’ll bet you don’t even know what the School Par-Tay is.

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