The Fix by Ian Morgan Cron

Author:Ian Morgan Cron
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2024-11-14T00:00:00+00:00

Guidelines and Tips

First and foremost, you must choose the right person to hear your Fifth Step. Whoever you choose must be 100 percent trustworthy. They must understand their sacred duty to take your Fifth Step to their graves without ever breaching your confidentiality. Is it possible you might pick the wrong person, who will gossip about what you shared with them in your Fifth Step? Yup. But I’ve been around Twelve-Step groups for thirty-five years, and I’ve never once heard of this happening.

I encourage you to do this Step with your sponsor or another person in recovery who has done their own Fifth Step. It’s essential that this person knows how difficult and important it will be for you to take this Step. It’s also vital that this person be willing and sufficiently discerning to give you honest feedback, point out your blind spots, or gently call you out when you’re ducking something that needs naming.

In my experience, broken people make the best confessors. Personally, I look for someone I know who has experienced enough suffering and personal failure in their own life that nothing I say will shock them. In other words, I want a confessor who has “history.” Lord knows I don’t want to share my weird and twisted inner world with someone whose life resembles a Thomas Kinkade print. I want someone who will be as open with me about their struggles and wrongdoings as I am with them about mine.

If you don’t have a sponsor, you can share your Fifth Step with your therapist, clergyperson, spiritual director, or a highly trusted friend, preferably one who has known you for a long time. I’ve included a set of instructions in the workbook you can share with the person you ask to hear your Fifth Step if they’ve never done it before. It outlines the Fifth Step’s purpose, the person’s specific role, and what they should and shouldn’t do.

Regarding scheduling, I prefer to do the Fifth Step in a single session, which, in my case, took several hours. (I’ve heard of some that lasted a full day, but that’s for overachievers.) A single session might be too exhausting or emotionally overwhelming for some folks. No worries. There are no set rules or one right way to do this. If a single session isn’t possible or desirable, break it into two or three sessions, preferably scheduled close together. It’s normal to want to put off doing your Fifth Step with excuses such as, “My inventory isn’t perfect,” but know that this won’t be the last time you make a Fifth Step. It’s better to do a mediocre Fifth Step the first time around than not to do one at all.

So, make an appointment with your listener as soon as you finish your Fourth Step. Make sure you choose a quiet place where you won’t be overheard, interrupted, or stared at should you get teary (which you probably will).

It’s tempting when reading your Fifth Step to give in to one

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