The Boy Who Lived With Ghosts: A Memoir by John Mitchell

Author:John Mitchell [Mitchell, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Parenting & Relationships, Family Relationships, Child Abuse, Dysfunctional Relationships
ISBN: 0615793207
Amazon: B00CDXWOAG
Publisher: Inclusic
Published: 2013-07-02T05:00:00+00:00

58

Auntie Dot is so much fatter than I remember. She was only supposed to be visiting for a day but she is going to stay for a week. That’s why she didn’t bring a change of clothes but it doesn’t matter because she never changes her clothes anyway. And as for washing or having a bath, I overheard her telling Mum that she was on her “monthly” and a woman should not wash during her cycle for fear of infection. I asked Mum about this and she said it was not important for me to know and Emily would know when her time comes because it is the blight all women were born for.

Auntie Dot will, however, have to buy a razor and some shaving soap or she will become the bearded lady.

“You can sleep in the front room, here on the couch,” Mum said to Auntie Dot.

“Thanks, ducky. You’re a real sweetheart. And this is a real palace! A real fucking palace, if you don’t mind my saying! I can even watch telly in bed.”

There could be a problem with Auntie Dot watching our telly in bed. When we could afford it, I went with Mum to the Radio Rentals shop to ask about renting a television and the man there said it would be fine but he could not rent a television to a woman.

“It is the rule because, unlike men, women don’t have jobs, and a telly is a very expensive piece of electrical equipment, and we need to know that the rental payments are going to be made. And no, Mrs. Mitchell, a woman cannot sign a rental contract.”

So Mum asked Robert to sign the contract. At first he said no and then Mollie Midget said he had better sign it if he wanted to continue to keep those damned chaffinches in the kitchen. And he said it would now be his personal financial responsibility and will keep him awake at night. So he would therefore only sign for the cheapest telly rental they had. This turned out to be a Ferguson Type 306T black and white telly with a screen the size and shape of a small frying pan.

Our Ferguson takes about seven minutes to warm up before it shows a picture and it keeps blowing its EY86 rectifier valve. I know all about EY86 rectifier valves because the Radio Rentals repair man is here a lot. And he told me that those valves are getting harder and harder to find and our telly belongs in a bloody museum. We must not, under any circumstances, turn the volume up above four. And we should not watch any programs with loud music or keep it switched on for longer than four hours each evening.

So Auntie Dot should not watch telly in bed.

“Those are lovely orange curtains, ducky,” Dot said.

“They’re fiberglass. I got them from the Littlewoods Catalog. They’re fireproof.”

“Fireproof?”

“Yes, fireproof.”

“So I don’t need to worry about smoking in bed then! This really is the height of luxury! Telly and a fag in bed! Now listen, ducky.

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