The Beginner's Guide to Loneliness by Laura Bambrey

Author:Laura Bambrey
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster UK
Published: 2020-07-27T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 20

Let Your Lion Loose

‘For those who suffer with anxiety, it’s natural to avoid confrontation, but there are moments when we have to let our lion loose. When a situation demands it, it can often be the right move to let that roar out.’

©TheBeginnersGuideToLoneliness.com

*

I’ve never been so glad to see my bed in my life. Bay is already snuggled up on the sofa under a blanket. I’m so tempted to flop down next to him, but I’m still wearing a semi-dry jumper over very wet clothes, so I drag my feet over to my bed and start to get changed into something warm. I feel strangely shy around him after what I’ve just told the Warriors.

‘Bay . . . can I borrow a thick jumper?’ I ask, cringing as my voice comes out all breathy.

‘Sure.’ He goes to his pack and then throws a chunky, woolly sweater to me. ‘I left you something next to your notebook too,’ he says, pointing at my little makeshift bedside table.

I look over and there’s a travel mug. I pop the lid off and take a sniff. Hot chocolate. It’s official. I’m smitten. Just a moment ago, I felt incredibly lost and lonely and, without even trying, Bay’s managed to hit upon the one thing that’s guaranteed to cheer me up.

‘You’re a saint,’ I sigh, sitting on my bed and cradling the warm drink.

‘Hope it’s still hot? You were a bit longer than I thought you’d be.’

‘Mmm,’ I mumble.

‘What’s up?’

‘Mmm?’

‘Difficult evening? Was it the water? You did really well.’

‘I got in,’ I say. I feel a bit like a six-year-old showing off my swimming badge for the first time.

‘Good for you!’

‘Thanks. And it wasn’t that.’

‘Oh?’

‘It was . . . people.’

‘Bit of group dynamics come out to bite you?’

‘Erm, something like that.’

‘Well, if you need to talk . . . I’m always here, you know.’

I smile at him. ‘Thanks, Bay. I’m okay. I think I just need my bed.’ There’s no way I can tell him about Than. I mean, that’s a sure route to ‘I told you so’ if ever there was one, and right now I could really do without that.

‘Not surprised. That’ll be the fresh air, gardening and running around like a lunatic in the rain,’ he laughs.

I feel a weight land on my feet and look down to see Dennis slinking up next to me for a hug. I snuggle back into the pillows, hot drink in one hand and my other arm wrapped around Dennis’s warm body. He leans his whole weight against me, head lolling on my shoulder. It’s possibly the best cuddle I could have asked for right now.

‘Well, looks like whatever’s bothering you, Dennis knows you need some love,’ says Bay. ‘You’d better be careful or you’ll end up sharing that bed again!’

*

I wake up the following morning next to a large, snoring mound of dog, and can’t help but smile. Bay’s words to me last night before I drifted off to sleep seem to have come true.

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