The Bachelorette Party by Donald Welch

Author:Donald Welch [Welch, Donald]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780345507655
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2008-06-24T04:00:00+00:00

Eight

I Sing Because I’m Happy; I Sing Because I’m Free

SPEAKING OF DICK, I know there has got to be a few honeys coming by this piece tonight, ’cuz Ms. Freda is ready for a little fun,” Keisha said as she and Freda looked at Nicole.

“Don’t ask me. Denise and you guys were in charge of this night. But let’s make one thing clear: I don’t need any strippers. So if you guys have any of this happening, remember—it’s for you, not for me, because I have Alan.”

Keisha started gagging.

“Ooh, girl, you all right? What’s the matter?” Nicole asked, concerned.

“Excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth,” Keisha said, and Freda broke out laughing.

“That’s cold—you know that’s cold, girl,” Nicole said, playfully slapping Keisha on the arm.

“Alan is all right. I mean, I like the brotha, but he’s a little on the corny side,” Keisha said.

Freda teased, “You didn’t think that when y’all dated.”

“Thank you!” Nicole slapped five with Freda.

“Okay, bitches, we were ten! The closest we ever came to any kind of contact was when I made him share his last Lemonhead candy with me. He bit it off and gave me half. Like I said, he’s all right, but he ain’t never been a snack that Ms. Keisha wanted to nibble on.”

“I gotta agree with my girl here. Alan’s cute, cool, and he’s a doctor, but a little too straitlaced for my taste. I like a brotha with a little more edge. You know, like T.I. or Fiddy,” added Freda.

“Well we all know that, Ms. Freda. If he ain’t been on lockdown at least once in his life, you don’t want him,” Nicole said as she and Keisha giggled.

“Now, wait a minute. Randall ain’t never been on lockdown,” Freda said of her latest love interest.

“No, ’cuz they ain’t caught his ass yet! I done told you, girl—leave that rough trade alone. None of them are worth anything but a fuck, and that’s it,” Keisha said.

“Well, sometimes that’s all I want. Thank you very much.” Freda rolled her eyes.

“Dr. Alan Lovejoy…that’s my man, y’all. I have never had a brotha treat me as good as Alan treats me. The surprising thing is no one would have ever thought that he and I would hook up after all these years. Ladies, I have hit the jackpot. He is kind, considerate, loving, supportive, and—”

“—Corny,” interrupted Keisha.

“And you know what? You’re right. He is corny, but I like his corniness. I love the fact that he really thinks his jokes are funny even though nobody laughs but me, or when we go dancing and he thinks he’s Usher, but moves more like Kid Rock. He’s just being himself, and I love that. So I’ll laugh at the corny jokes and dance with Kid Rock. It’s all good because I know he loves me. I am his princess, and he definitely is my prince.”

Silence.

Keisha returned to the bar for another drink and broke the quiet in the room.

“Will somebody put this bitch on

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